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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/ThrowRA192929777 on 2023-08-18 16:29:12+00:00.
My BF clearly really loved his ex. They met fall 2018, married summer 2021 and they split in December 2022. He says the relationship was starting to fall apart last summer and she cheated for the first time around that time. He forgave her. She cheated again just before Christmas, so he gave up. He admitted to me he was totally heartbroken, lost loads of weight and was very sad for 2 or 3 months. They were long distance at the time (she's from Canada, he's Irish like me) and she came back one last time in late February to end things on "good terms" (?). He said it was very sad but he started to feel better from then on as it was so obvious he made the right decision.
2 months after this final meeting, we matched on Tinder. He seemed quite smitten quickly and admits he really thought he'd be alone for a while, but by the third date he knew he wanted to be my BF. We became exclusive at the end of May. He seems in love with me. He started saying this 6 weeks ago. We can talk about anything and everything for hours. He misses me when he doesn't see me for a day or 2. His family have been really welcoming. Even their friends who used to live with her, are very encouraging (they turned on her with the cheating etc). He admitted to me he still gets sad about it now and again, but it's because she defined his college years and it's sad someone so important betrayed him. This makes me feel like I'm a rebound. Add to that, I'm a law graduate working a corporate job who paints and reads in her free time; she was a yoga instructor stoner type. He has said a few times that it's great to be with someone so simialr to him in terms of interests and values. The ex and I couldn't be more dissimilar. I feel like I cant live up to the manic pixie ex, and frankly, they looked adorable together and should be together. It doesn't matter how well he treats me, or how he implies he thinks this relationship may last forever....i feel like a fraud. How do I stop feeling like a rebound?
TLDR: my BF seems to love me, but also his ex. How do I stop feeling crap about the situation?