this post was submitted on 30 Apr 2024
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Not The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 159 points 11 months ago (1 children)

She said her homeowner's insurance won't cover anything pest-related because they deem it preventable.

So the real monster was the insurance company. What a twist!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

And yet people still pay for insurance, for some reason.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago

My bank forces me to have insurance in order to get a mortgage :(

[–] [email protected] 41 points 11 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 40 points 11 months ago (1 children)

So she was basically correct.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 11 months ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 27 points 11 months ago (2 children)

60,000 of anything is basically a monster. I wouldn't even want to be confronted by 60,000 koalas.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

Title of your autobiography!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

60,000 Guinea pigs

Prepare to be wheeked to death

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 months ago (1 children)

That's exactly what a bee would say. 🐝🤔

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Shh! Don't make us sting you 😤

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

If they're pissed off enough to swarm in the tens of thousands, they are temporarily..

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

FYI. The quantity of bees in a hive has more to do with their ability to find good food sources nearby, and the suitability of the place they've made their home, and nothing to do with their temperament. That size hive would not be considered particularly remarkable in an apiary. A "swarm" of bees is actually just a bunch of bees that split off from a successful hive and are looking for a new home and are typically very docile. Since this colony had a home (these people's house), it was technical not a "swarm."

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Thanks for enlightening me, I sit corrected 😁

[–] [email protected] 28 points 11 months ago

When I was very little, maybe 2, my mum had sat me down in front of Sesame Street while she did some chores. Not long after I came running into the kitchen “mummy mummy there’s a birdie in the front room!” She said yes, that was big bird and to go back in and watch it. I kept running back to her increasingly more upset about the birdie until she came into the living room to find a pigeon had come down the chimney and was irately trying to escape. I know I was too young to remember it, but I swear I can recall the feeling of vindication!

[–] [email protected] 19 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Meanwhile, the Beekreeper escapes the scene unnoticed and prepares to summon its apian horde elsewhere.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago

Shoutout to the absolutely fantastic pen&paper RPG "Heart" in which one of the classes is the Deep Apiarist. Including the ability to have the bees crawling through your body that doubles as their hive animate it while you sleep, allowing you more active hours a day.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Had something similar. My bedroom was small and under the roof, and for some time I heard scratching noises at night over my bed. I assumed that were mice, so I set up some mouse traps in the attic. No success. The bait was gone, but none of the traps were sprung.

So, one evening when the noise got annoying, I went to investigate closely. And found a large wasps nests, right on the other side of the sheet rock of my bedroom.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago (1 children)

This is why flamethrowers are legal to own in 48/50 US states.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I have a drone on offer up and some fool tried to convince me to trade for a flame thrower. Wtf am I going to do with a flame thrower? I guess I could vanquish my enemies... If I had any. People are weird.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

It seems they had the same thought "Crap, what can I do with this flamethrower? Maybe I can trade it for that drone!"

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Jesus. That sounds eerily like my experience. Heard scracthes in the attic and thought it was mice. Woke up one morning with a dead wasp in the bed and having been stung. Thought nothing of it. Woke up a few days later with two dead wasps in the bed and having been stung. Huh, that's weird. Then when I woke up one morning I saw a wasp crawl between the planks in the ceiling. Called exterminators and they sprayed the attic. The wasps had built their nest in the isolation and had chewed through it down to the planks... The next week I had hundreds of dead (and a few alive) bees in the room every day and I had to sleep on the sofa..

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago (3 children)
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[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I can't believe it's not posted here yet, so here we go.

Ehm.

NO, NO, NOT THE BEES! ALL OVER MY EYES! AARGHHH

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Not if you use the same insurance company.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago

[email protected]

This is the worst thing I've read today

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago (1 children)

This looks like a job for... DR. BEES!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

As reported by the Bee Bee, See.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago

So she was obviously lying and maligning the bees.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago

Oh man, just heard about this in my beekeeping class.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Too soon to watch Bee Movie?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Ya like jazz?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

My suitcase full of BEES should help with that!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Has this been happening for a while? How tf did this happen?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago

It's not that uncommon. When a beehive is doing really well, it'll "split", meaning they'll raise a second queen and the new queen will leave and half of the colony will go with her to establish a new hive somewhere. This is called swarming, and it's the their version of reproduction. (Tangent: Contrary to popular belief, honey bee swarms are usually very docile since they don't yet have a home to defend.) Once they find a suitable location to settle, they'll move in. Without humans building things, a suitable location would usually be something like an old hollowed out tree. But humans build great beehive homes. Old houses with small openings between siding panels that allow bees into the walls are a common favorite.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Behold my children:

Saylor Class, Dance Lesson, Computer Science Tutorial and Intro To Biology

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