this post was submitted on 01 May 2024
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Science Memes

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[–] [email protected] 90 points 1 year ago (4 children)

first divide up your friends into infinitely smaller and smaller friends until you almost have zero friends

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

l you almost have zero friends

I'm already there!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Do you think an electric chainsaw will do and then transition to filet knifes or..?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

chum is chums

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Just put a small "D" before them

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Instructions unclear, can't find dknives or dchain dsaws at Home Depot!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Thank god you didn't put your small "D" in yo friends

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Well, I ain't got no small D that's not on a keyboard! I save the big D for those special friends ;)

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I put them back together and now I have 12 friends, now what?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Keep going. You need to approach zero friends.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Friendsymptote

[–] [email protected] 83 points 1 year ago

One time I had to buy 40 watermelons for a local festival, and ended up having to get them from the grocery store. Didn't want to bruise them, so I filled 4 carts up and made multiple trips to the checkout. For a moment there, I was the lady from all the math problems.

[–] [email protected] 49 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

I know orgy-preparation math when I see one.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Much better than that time Dave brought taco bell for everyone before the orgy

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.

Fortunately we were at Daves parents house, so no cleanup.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Pen-pineapple-apple-pen. 🎉

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

You cut one pineapple, share it with 6 friends, and goo around looking for people that want the other 36 ones. Or maybe reserve 2 others for cutting through the week, so you only have to find enough people to get 34 pineapples from you. (The closest supermarket from here doesn't keep as many in storage.)

Have your math classes in fundamental school teach you how to find people that want pineapples?

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

goo around looking for people

What does that entail? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

Upsidedown pineapples

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

Letting her know you drank a bunch of pineapple juice before your date.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (2 children)

So you figure out the volume of pineapples by creating an equation for their shape, then divide it up.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Easy, that’s just nRT/P, assuming the pineapple is an ideal gas.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Assuming the pineapples are a sphere rolling down a frictionless slope…

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I was at a networking event with work people. They had a big tray of fruit and cheese that included a whole, unsliced pineapple displayed on the center, not being used. The caterers thought my request was wacky, but agreed to let me take the pineapple. The people I was with shamed me out of taking it, and I reluctantly dropped the pineapple. The ordeal became something we still reminisce about. I found a random pineapple on my desk one day. And we share pineapple-themed pictures when we happen upon something.

This particular day, I hit the pineapple jackpot.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

Just cut off 37/6ths of a pineapple for each of your friends.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Everyone gets 6 pineapples, except for you, you get 1.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

You do that kind of arithmetic quite often if you work in a kitchen.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Just keep on halving it (trust me)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

At some point I did feel like this in college.