Neurodivergence

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All things neurodivergent and relating to the broader neurodivergent community (and communities).

See also this community's sister subs Feminism, LGBTQ+, Disability, and POC

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Please have patience (beehaw.org)

submitted 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Title not directed at anyone in particular, but rather me venting in general.

As a person with ASD, I often struggle with trying to keep up with and understanding the world around me, especially other people. I frequently need to ask people to repeat what they're saying or ask them to expand or clarify on what they've said so I can understand it better. I also sometimes don't remember things properly or my memory just poops out entirely and I don't remember something at all.

And time and time again all of this gets met with passive-aggression and lack of patience. Snippy remarks, sighs, scoffs, etc are all too common and it makes me anxious and afraid to converse with people, especially those that I know have less patience for me than others.

Some examples of things that really hit hard for me are things like: "I already told you," "Like I said...." "Didn't you get it?" "Wasn't that clear?" "Don't you remember?"

Stuff like that just cuts deep when all you were doing was trying your best to fit in the conversation. So if any neurotypical people are reading this then please try your best to have patience for people that might not be getting what you're saying right away. Some of us need a bit more time and energy to process things.

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Ughhhh I have ADHD and I know exactly what you mean. I'm sorry you're going through that

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago

It's definitely one of the things that makes being neurodivergent a pain in the ass sometimes :(

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago

I think it stems from lack of empathy and assumptions. People will often assume you're making a rude choice to not pay attention, and that hurts their ego. It makes them feel disregarded and unimportant. So they respond in a snippy way to express their frustration with you. They have no idea what is really upsetting them is their own assumptions about your behavior. When you break it down like this, it can help you see it's not about you at all. They're closed off and inconveniencing themselves as a result.

People have a really hard time seeing outside of themselves and their own personal experiences. I had one friend in particular who constantly gave me shit for things outside of my control. She was the most effortlessly organized person I ever met, and she figured I was actively choosing my symptoms of ADHD. Even knowing your circumstances, some people are just not going to get it.