this post was submitted on 03 Nov 2024
321 points (100.0% liked)

Not The Onion

15221 readers
2968 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

"We want to be sure anyone who has this pizza on hand throws it away so they don't get sick," health officials told customers.

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 81 points 4 months ago (1 children)

The secret ingredient was oil, ordinary oil, laced with nothing more than a few spoonfuls of THC.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 4 months ago

Unexpected Futurama

[–] [email protected] 60 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)

My wife worked for this guy that has since passed away. She was his sous chef at a very posh up and coming restaurant. They had fried chicken specials every so often and it was always their biggest huge hit. Like always selling out.

The secret of his success was his special herbs and spices, which included weed. He figured that nobody would get that high from a serving so he was like IDGAF.

Eddy was one of a kind. Rest in peace friend.

[–] [email protected] 52 points 4 months ago

I mean.......you gotta warn people. Imagine eating chicken, not getting high, and then 3 weeks later being convinced theres a conspiracy against you because you failed a random work drug test.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago (4 children)

I think it's Hempseed rather than weed itself, but proper Nanami/shichimi togarashi (7 spice blend, roughly translated) has Hempseed. Because of the ban on drugs and such, most exports and US versions exclude it though.

As an example, this site shows and advertises it's usage, then on the same page says:

Hemp seeds match sesame in terms of flavor and aroma. There is an old Japanese saying: "Those able to mill hemp seed are truly mature."

No hemp seeds are used in products for overseas markets.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 59 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Let's see if I understood this correctly. They use a community kitchen and helped themselves to someone elses very expensive oil, not realizing it was Delta-9 infused? Now people are getting high off their pie and they are all over the news. Dick move has unintended consequences.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 4 months ago (2 children)

I'm about as big a poth-ead as you can get, and this is pretty fucked up.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)

I mean yea, non consenting chemical alteration of someone's mental state is a messed up thing, accidental or not. For someone not expecting it, or not used to it, you will likely think you're sick. That could be distressing. It could be dangerous if that person were, say, headed off to work (nurse, doctor, crane operator, taxi driver, office worker on commute), or had been avoiding cannabis due to family history of psychosis, or has a damaged immune system and now fears they've caught something, we also feed pizza to kids.

Most probably nothing grim will come of this, and the jokes are fine I think, but we all should understand that this is serious.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 4 months ago (2 children)

How the hell do you explain this to a new job or your parole officer? "Someone drugged me with weed and I didn't know! I swear!"

This could mess up some people's lives

[–] [email protected] 20 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Another argument against zero tolerance policies.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

Yeah IMO drug charges should be ones that need to be added on to other real crimes that directly affect others. Like theft or assault. And even outside of charges, why care if an otherwise good worker randomly tests positive for something?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I had a friend whose dad was in the military and got served something spiked at a party that popped up on a surprise drug test the next day. It was a huge deal (especially because this was like 40 years ago), he had to go to military court and get people that were at the party to testify for him. He was really fortunate the judge ruled in his favor.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago

We've got a case in Australia of a coffee shop selling something to someone that was allergic. The guy died of allergies.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Imagine losing your job because a drug test found it.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

Yeah, shame this isn't Arizona, where it's illegal for employers to discriminate against weed smokers. We need similar protections in the rest of the country.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 4 months ago (1 children)

What if I want to get sick?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Google "asmongold rat clock"

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 4 months ago

It's not DiGiorono, it's Dispensary!
-- stolen from Charlie Berens

[–] RamblingPanda 16 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

I hope they decarbed it first.

Edit: errmm, I meant to say "Oh no!"

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 months ago

Apologizes??? I'll take 3! Oh, wait, that's going to give me the munchies. Better make it 4......oh wait, that's going to give me the munchies. Better make it 5.......oh wait, that's going to give me the munchies, better make it....

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I object to the phrase.... Contaminated

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago (4 children)

I further object to the company telling people to throw out the weed pizza. Who in their right mind would turn down free weed? Especially given that this literally never happens ever? This is a once in a lifetime miracle.

If you don't like the effects of THC, give it to your stoner neighbor. Or the homeless guy down the block. He would really appreciate a free weed pizza.

So sick and tired of seeing food waste. This article disgusts me.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Who in their right mind would turn down free weed?

A non-addict?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (2 children)

You're trolling, right? You don't seriously still believe that lie? Weed has been proven time and time again to be no more addicting than caffeine.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago

Forgivable if it cost $4.20

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago

Its not contaminated! Its spiced with THC!

The only problem would be stretched weed.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago

Tell me they are smart enough to officially sell THC pizza now. Please!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago (8 children)

THC doesn’t make you sick

[–] [email protected] 26 points 4 months ago (1 children)

You can get headaches, anxiety, and a variety of other undesirable effects. Some of us would also lose our jobs if we consumed this so whoever did this is a dickwad.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago

Or go to prison.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 4 months ago (5 children)

I mean, it can.

Someone not used to it, taking a high dose can end up with nausea, vomiting, etc.

Even long term potheads can have bad results with too high a dose. Then there's rare reactions, allergies, etc.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

Smoked every day and had some edibles with a friend. After it kicked in, it took about half an hour before we were way too high, went inside and were knocked out. For a random person experiencing that without knowing what they'd taken, they'd definitely think something was wrong. Maybe panic time instead of chilling on the couch and sleeping it off.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago (9 children)

Or if you decide to take other drugs that night. You don't want to mix alcohol with THC for example.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

Except for when you do.

load more comments (8 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago

For someone inexperienced, even a "normal" dose can make you sick. A 10mg gummy made me so nauseated I vomited before I could make it to the toilet.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

My very experience at university. Projectile vomit all over the place.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

I'm a moderate smoker and the first time i ever had some miami yayo in cart form with live resin and diamonds (no idea if this is marketing gimmicks but w/e) I had a massive anxiety rush. Obviously I knew how to handle it but fuck me, someone's first time would have been miserable.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 4 months ago (1 children)

you should always know and consent to what you're putting in your body

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

I never said otherwise

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago

It definitely can, especially in a large dose for a person with no existing tolerance

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago

That's like saying rollercoasters can't make you sick. It's not gonna give you a cold but it can make you lightheaded and/or nauseous.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago

I take medication that would absolutely make me sick if I smoked or ingested weed. And I know this because I read the interactions list, rolled my eyes, tried it anyway, and surprise!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 months ago

Obviously it can.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago

I'll just stick to gummies.

load more comments
view more: next ›