this post was submitted on 31 Jan 2025
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Programmer Humor

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We Are Against Animal Testing (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I'd argue the end-users are animals. Primitive at that

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Hmmm ... Thought it was agreed to not to say the quiet part out loud eh?

No one likes being insulted ESPECIALLY when it's true.

This is why we praise them and spin every statement in a positive light.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago (2 children)

This is why we praise them and spin every statement in a positive light

"I admire your creativity, but no we do not currently allow emojis in usernames"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

"I admire your creativity. Will talk with our team, get their feedback, and timeline. See when can add support for emojis in usernames"

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Just got back from talking with our team. The senior coder in charge of emojis in usernames is currently upgrading the windmills in the uk, having been able to enhance efficiency by 0.001%. Wow! Thats 14 Mega tons of CO2 removed from the atmosphere every year!

Will take the weekend to get commercial Fusion energy rolled out and right after that will address your issue. Which i'm sure many other users will be thankful you brought to our attention. And luckily had the right man for the job on staff. He's amazing, capable, enthusiastic, and eager to help.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 months ago

Medical device programmers:

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago

Animals are individuals, servers are cattle!

The Vegan GitOps lifestyle

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

We test on humans

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

You work at Unit 731? I did, for a while, but the employee break lounge was always out of coffee. Not that I drink coffee, but I still thought that was disrespectful to the torture staff.

It's called dark humor, leave me alone.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I too oppose animals testing computers. They have no clue what they're doing

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

i'm opposed to Grandma asking for IT support

Grandma gets a smartphone

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Idk, I love when rabbit beat me in Call of Duty

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

They live along with us.

  • a bulldog gets onto a treadmill

  • a dog is trained to press buttons on the floor to express their desires

  • AI is used to decipher an animals language meaning and speech recognition

  • Koko the gorilla using celebrities to do marketing and guarantee TV time and our attention.

All these things are animals using tech.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago

I said computers

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

But is the software written by developers with access to the outside and daylight? Even if they prefer to shun it and choose blackout curtains.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Get your code from free range developers. The ethical way.