And this is why I never ask those types of questions to be polite. If I ask how you're doing I actually really do want to know. I deliberately make that distinction.
this post was submitted on 02 Feb 2025
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Yeah, I couldn't stand it during my short stay in Atlanta, that everyone was just using "how are you?" instead of a simple "hello", and then were getting pissed, when I actually talked about how I felt
Speaking from a US cultural standpoint, most people don't do this though. Because of this if someone asks "how are you doing?," there is a script that runs in my brain that just translates it to mean "Hello."
There's nothing more soul crushing than showing emotional vulnerability and then promptly being told you're a burden and have misinterpreted abstract social signals. Always better to just...not 🤷
I, on the other hand make it a point to brutality answer the intended question for shock and awe value in the hopes people stop being so stupid asking those questions. It's always fun seeing people panic and thinking where they can go hide to stop hearing about all the uncomfortable stuff I'm telling.
Sameisch here, but we don't talk much if i don't want to know how you are doing.
As a foreigner to the US, not understanding their etiquette. I always trauma dump and break down in tears when the cashier asks: “Hi, how are you today?”
Good. That'll teach them not to ask such deep questions of a stranger. If they want to get all personal with someone who doesn't know them, they should face consequences.
For me, I find this happens:
"Hi, did you find everything ok?"
"Good".
"Thank you, come again!"
"You too!"
🤮
I usually just updog.
When is up dog?
What’s updog?
You can answer honestly but it's a greeting, not an invitation to take over the whole conversation to talk about yourself.
Them: "How are you doing"
You: "Pretty bad to be honest, but I'm hanging in there"
And from there you either get:
Them: "I'm sorry to hear that I hope it gets better"
You: "Thanks"
Them: "So I wanted to ask about your TPS reports..."
Or :
Them: "Oh no, what's going on?"
You: "Well I'm having a lot of mental health issues..."
We should follow the Lithuanian form of greeting your coworkers: walk into the room without making eye-contact and sit impassively at your desk.
If anyone tries to convince you that the day is "good", nod gruffly.
I'm sold. Gonna move to Lithuania post haste.
nods impassively, and then ignores you politely
I often answer the question, but only a sentence or two. Then I ask what's up with them.