this post was submitted on 23 Mar 2025
687 points (100.0% liked)

Not The Onion

15641 readers
2915 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
all 28 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 103 points 1 week ago (2 children)

It's because there is not enough tariffs in place.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

Lemmy poster angling for a cabinet position:

[–] [email protected] 52 points 1 week ago

(God I hope the /s isn’t necessary)

[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 week ago (2 children)

to contextualise : eggs aren't just food, they could also contain various animals that could distrupt the ecosystem, hence why they were smuggled before, why border cops are looking for them, etc.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)

But, most of them are just food, because we would never have this uptick in smuggling otherwise.

And we're signaling border officials to throw away all of that food, as if we didn't waste enough food in this county.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

Most isn't all.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

hey could also contain various animals that could distrupt the ecosystem,

The only thing that an egg that someone is likely smuggling in is going to contain is a chicken, and we're also currently short of the egg-laying variants of chickens, so a black-market Canuck egg-laying chicken wouldn't go amiss either.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

The only thing that an egg that someone is likely smuggling in is going to contain is a chicken

and you personally can tell apart chicken eggs from rare lizard eggs or any other egg that might be a similar size to a chicken egg?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Just about the only hard shelled reptile eggs are crocodilian, some turtles, and a few outliers like some geckos. Very few of any of those would be confused with chicken eggs. There also are (hopefully still) wildlife experts as part of border patrol who can and do make those determinations.

That said, there are endangered bird and reptile species that we don't want trafficked and smuggled eggs get rescued by animal control portions of border security unfortunately all the time and they should keep doing their job.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

Aaaaand they're fired.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 week ago

CBP intercepted egg products on 3,254 occasions this January and February, compared to 1,508 occasions in the first two months of 2024.

TIL that people were "smuggling" eggs across the border last year as well. I wonder what the earlier historical numbers have been - there had to be some historical number of border residents doing it in their periodic cross-border visits, and unknowing vacationers who bought a dozen or two to cook while they're camping and just brought the remainder home.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Let's try smuggling Kinder Surprise eggs instead, maybe that will relieve the tension.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

Still illegal? My mom smuggled some like 10 ys ago and border protection didn’t even shoot at us … fucking amateurs

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

What are they afraid of with foreign eggs? Bird Flu?

Edit: obligatory /s

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 week ago

Among everything else that could go wrong with eggs from an untraceable unknown farm with an unknown level of safety management

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago

They're scared because other countries don't wash them. They don't realise that this keeps them fresherv for longer without needing to keep them cool.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

Eggs can contain invasive species.

Chicken eggs can come in all sorts of shapes and colors. Hard to say for sure that an egg is definitively a chicken egg just on visual inspection.

Of course, having the eggs in an incubator is probably a sure-fire way of telling they don't intend to eat them...

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago

Maybe they should try using honey

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago

Because people don't realize that there are restrictions on eggs, and they're cheaper in neighboring nations.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Remember the old saying, "you catch more flies with eggs than fentanyl."

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

My mum always said that and I never understood it until now

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

The new white gold!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Why didn’t their orange shit stain make eggs cheaper like they claimed they voted for so they can avoid admitting they’re racist and sexist

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

Couldn't overpower the egg cartel

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

How about works of art painted in fentanyl laced gelatin paint?

Just giving you all a hint lol. You could paint an entire car in that.