this post was submitted on 27 Sep 2023
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Mental Health

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submitted 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

i thought I was getting better, but I'm falling apart. I feel like a clown, I interact with people, they laugh and then turn their backs. At the end of the day I'm back here, alone, and I'm so sick.

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 years ago

I dealt with feeling like this for a long while. What helped me was trying to make everyone I interacted with a little happier for having seen me.

The actual advice: people want to talk about themselves. Prompt them to, then remember a detail to ask about next time.

It’s not that easy, but it is pretty simple. Your brain will try to make it seem hard. It’s literally just showing interest in others, and it’s simple and don’t let your brain make it complicated.

Now go draw the rest of the owl.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 years ago

Well I like you and I'm sorry you're going through these hardships.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 years ago

I'm sorry about how you're feeling and I hope the title isn't serious. I'm in no position to help but I think that if this is really bothering you, you should maybe reach out to a therapist. I'll just add something to pick your brain: maybe it's not you, maybe the people you're interacting with are not the right audience and you should try to find someone that better shares your interests.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 years ago

I'm sorry you are feeling this way. In my experience there are ups and downs with depression. You are getting better, it takes time. Hold in there mate.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It sounds like you may be feeling very self-conscious about interactions. It took me a long time to learn, but much of the time (I've come to realize), "they ain't studying on me." Like—other people aren't scrutinizing me or judging me as much as I think they are.

Plenty of people are so wrapped up up in their own heads that they aren't paying you any attention, perhaps not realizing how you are reading their responses to you.

Maybe it's just me getting older, but "when I am an old woman, I shall wear purple." If others think I'm dressed weird or acting oddly—what of it? I don't need (and can't have) everyone's approval. Sure—there are limits; I don't want to endanger myself or others, or provoke hostility. I don't want to be mean to anyone.

If you make overtures of friendship and kindness and are turned away, that says a lot more about others than it does about you.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago

I strongly agree with the first part but this can be dangerous advice for someone with depression who doesn't have the right tools to connect with other people.

Yes, there are many shitty people out there that are just not worth it but PLEASE don't jump to the conclusion that everyone else is at fault here.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago

Sorry you feel that way. Some advice from a notorious loner with serious depressive episodes:

  • In case you're not: Do some exercise, regularly. It does not only help immensely with mental wellbeing but will also make you more attractive to other people

  • People like jokes but what they like even more is someone who shows interest in their lives. Try to find out what they like and talk to them about it

  • You're not worthless just because you're lonely. Try to find some hobbies or personal projects that are fun to do alone or may even boost your career. Many people don't have the luxury to do whatever they want after work. Having a life of your own may even attract other people. Being independent is sexy

  • Don't be afraid to make a doctors appointment and ask for help. There are MANY people with the same problem and that's your chance to connect with them. Getting the right medication could also be a game changer

[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago

Can you please shut the fuck up? Meditation, or mindfullness, is awesome tool and can help a lot, but it won't heal fucking suicidal ideation.