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Mitch McConnell Settling Into Retirement by Destroying All the Houses Jimmy Carter Built (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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[–] [email protected] 60 points 1 month ago (1 children)

At press time, McConnell planned to expound on his malevolent personal endeavors in the forthcoming memoir, “Human Impediment: Tales of a Worthless Life, Soon Forgotten.”

Absolutely savage. Hopefully it's also topical

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago

Sounds like what his epitaph should read, and have it used as a public urinal.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 month ago (1 children)

In 2045 at the age of 103, Mitch McConnell somehow returns

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

As president

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

He would. The old bastard.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

My friend, Hank Hill will be flipping out. He built a home for Niefko and Alla Lubecki, with a highly virile friend of his, Dale Dribble.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Goddamn, that one got me.

Great work, @theonion.