this post was submitted on 04 Jul 2025
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Showerthoughts

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A "Showerthought" is a simple term used to describe the thoughts that pop into your head while you're doing everyday things like taking a shower, driving, or just daydreaming. The most popular seem to be lighthearted clever little truths, hidden in daily life.

Here are some examples to inspire your own showerthoughts:

Rules

  1. All posts must be showerthoughts
  2. The entire showerthought must be in the title
  3. No politics
    • If your topic is in a grey area, please phrase it to emphasize the fascinating aspects, not the dramatic aspects. You can do this by avoiding overly politicized terms such as "capitalism" and "communism". If you must make comparisons, you can say something is different without saying something is better/worse.
    • A good place for politics is c/politicaldiscussion
  4. Posts must be original/unique
  5. Adhere to Lemmy's Code of Conduct and the TOS

If you made it this far, showerthoughts is accepting new mods. This community is generally tame so its not a lot of work, but having a few more mods would help reports get addressed a little sooner.

Whats it like to be a mod? Reports just show up as messages in your Lemmy inbox, and if a different mod has already addressed the report, the message goes away and you never worry about it.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 hours ago

A system designed by psychopaths benefits psychopaths? No way...

[–] [email protected] 14 points 9 hours ago (2 children)

You'll still be a shit person, likely with no meaningful friendships. That's gotta factor into the equation somehow.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

People with low empathy don't see people as companions, but more as tools to benefit themselves. So they don't really care as long as they have enough money and pawns to take care of themselves.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago) (1 children)

Reducing other people to mere tools is a symptom of psychopathy rather than simply low empathy. Yes, psychopaths are within the set of people with low empathy, however, shouldn't be confused with the set itself. It's also specifically a lack of affective (warm) empathy that's more of the problem than a lack of empathy in general, as some psychopaths do have cognitive (cold) empathy, and so do understand others (albeit to a limited extent), however, just use it to be more exploitive rather than less. This is by contrast with autistic people who often struggle with cognitive (cold) empathy, however, not with affective (warm) empathy, i.e. they don't know how they've hurt people but they know they've hurt people and try to avoid doing so.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Been a while since psych and I'm sure some terms I use are outdated now but the way it was explained to me was that sociopaths feel some guilt and remorse but do it anyways whereas psychopaths don't feel any remorse at all. I think symptoms of both have been melded into ASPD in general now but the logic applies. If someone is capable of lying and manipulating without remorse (my original statement) then it would be a very low chance that they see others as equals

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago) (1 children)

There is no such thing as a sociopath clinically speaking. There are primary and secondary psychopaths though, the former lacking empathy entirely and the latter having access to some empathy. They are both alloplastic (irresponsible for their actions and their consequences) and thus neither can feel guilt as guilt is associated with having responsibility. Psychopaths tend to have a generalised anxiety at their core, which they compensate for with defiance (to convince themselves and others of their power as a means to deal with the anxiety). This creates a backlash against them, which because they're irresponsible, creates frustration, something they can't manage well, and so direct the frustration outwards in the form of aggression.

Anxiety and shame are the emotions associated with negative (or potential) consequences while being powerless. Psychopaths are more anxious because they have an internal locus of control, whereas narcissists are more shameful because they don't. In both cases, they seek control, albeit for different reasons.

EDIT: Psychopaths see other people as pets at best, and tools at worst. As you say, they do not perceive you as equals.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

That's more useful than you know for someone I'm currently dealing with. I consider myself patient but everyone has their limits, how do you help someone who is defiant, seek control, and clearly anxious without letting them tear your mood apart?

I know I'm supposed to understand they are acting out of confused defense but it's truly difficult to be the caregiver to someone who is essentially throwing an illogical temper tantrum nearly 24/7?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

In my experience, you try to have as little to do with them as possible. Do you have some legal obligation to be their caregiver?

I think most people will recommend setting boundaries and sticking to them, however, they are compelled to cross any lines you set.

You kind of end up setting sacrificial boundaries that they can cross, or boundaries with a buffer zone so they can cross it a little bit without going too far.

Like, if the speed limit is 50 km/h, they're going to go 55 km/h, and that's still a safe speed so you're happy and they're happy. If they go 100 km/h, well, that's genuinely unsafe and you're forced to intervene.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Moral obligation. Yes I am in that constant cycle of setting boundaries, having them crossed, and forgiving them because they have noone else to care for them. I don't see giving up as an option on the matter but I know I'm sacrificing my mental health for them.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

I'm dealing with a situation at the moment where an individual was a caregiver for decades, only for the cared person to turn around and leave the caregiver to die when the caregiver became too old to provide the care the cared person felt entitled to have.

They will never show you any gratitude, and it will be genuinely dangerous when you decide to stop or simply can no longer continue providing care.

Once you exist in the psychopath's world, you only have one of two choices: be useful or be destroyed. People without any utility to them don't exist to them, however, once you exist, you can't go back to not existing.

Take care, and acknowledge the opportunity cost of your time and energy is being deprived from other people who genuinely need and can appreciate it.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

That's the answer I expected but I hoped for some kind of miracle tactic. I know you're right and it's something I need to consider the pros and cons of. I appreciate your advice

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago) (1 children)

Is there any reason why you downvoted my other comments?

You can learn a lot of valuable skills by being a caregiver to someone like this, although they will try to pull you into their cynical worldview. This is a simplistic, and distorted view of the world that aligns with how psychopaths and narcissists experience the world, however, isn't useful nor realistic.

They both have a splitting mechanism where people are split into an all good and an all bad object, and struggle to integrate these two objects into an integrated object that accurately represents people. The psychopath can't create complete objects, and so splits people into good in the form of utility, and bad in the form of impediment to their goals.

Cynicism is assuming the true object is the bad object because they feel it's safer to assume the worst in someone than assume the best. Game theory suggests this makes sense in extremely hostile environments, however, is detrimental in most other situations. It has a tendency to create the hostile environments it's supposedly adapted to cope with.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 hours ago

I downvoted your comments? I upvoted your comments. I don't disagree with anything you've said

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 hours ago

Yeah, that's what the rest of us try to convince ourself so that we can cope with it. That or the idea that these people must sleep very poorly thinking about what they've done, while we're actually the ones who have poor sleep thinking about what they've done and feeling powerless.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 hours ago

I'll die poor with morals rather than rich and evil. I'm okay with that.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 hours ago

It's because we live in a system with perverse incentives. It's practically designed by psychopaths, for psychopaths. Still, we only get one life, don't spend it going against your better nature.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

It's true. Still, I can't lie for some reason.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 hours ago

It's easier not to lie. Remembering all the lies is too much effort, and being caught can be particularly embarrassing especially if you already have social anxiety.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 hours ago

Try the game Warewolf (same concept goes by many other names). Most people find it really hard to lie, even if it is about nothing important at all and part of the agreed "social" rules.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago) (1 children)

Ha, not really. If your only measure of success is your bank account then you're playing high risk / reward with a dishonest strategy that either lands you in prison or a jacuzzi.

Then when you get to the really bad end of the spectrum, well...

Do you think Hitler smiled as he killed himself? Do you think his confidants died easy? Evil people make their own lives shit, they just drag everyone else down with them. I see Elon Musk and Donald Trump in the news on the verge of tears every other day because everyone hates them.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 hours ago

Everyone knows his body was a double and Hitler fled to Argentina where he changed his name to Mateo González to pursue a career in dog breeding and pastries for diabetics

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 hours ago

I've been self-employed for about 30 years, which puts you rubbing elbows with other self-employed business people.

I have learned that while MOST people want to run a friendly, moral, legal business, and would never cross the line, there are a plenty of amoral businesspeople who don't have any problems crossing the line.

Furthermore, they are well-aware that many businesspeople won't cross the line, so that makes their willingness to act illegally or immorally their personal competitive edge, and they absolutely look at it that way.

They watch for decent, moral businesses, and they target them in various ways, either as a competitor, a supplier, a contractor, etc.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago) (2 children)

I so wish that I could grift the fuck out of the goddamn Nazis and get rich off of their idiocy but I would feel icky with dirty money.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 hours ago

You could do it and then give me the money

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 hours ago (2 children)

Go to work for ICE, and be the worst worker in the history of America. Then you earned your money gumming up the works of an evil organization, and you can feel good about taking their money to hurt them.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 hours ago

Eh, I bet the pay is shit

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 hours ago

I would be alright with ICE getting fake armor plates, defective bullets, and boots with thin soles.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 15 hours ago

Yes and i would choose to have morals anyway

[–] [email protected] 14 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

It depends where you want to go. Knowledge is always bigger than power, power gives money but knowledge gives depression and suicide thoughts. The fast escape path is obvious.

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

This is only true in a world that is mostly full of people with morals. A society built on lying and manipulation inevitably collapses - look at what is happening to the United States. They elected an amoral lying manipulator and in just six months their society is unraveling. They just passed a law that took money away from hungry children and sick people so that their psychopathic leader can better persecute his enemies: that is, anyone who opposes him. ICE just became the best-funded "law" enforcement agency ever created. It is obvious to everyone except a handful of naive idiots that ICE will be used against US citizens to consolidate MAGA's power in an attempt to create a permanent regime. These states always collapse sooner or later, though, because morality is the foundation of law. No one is going to invest in a country where their assets can be seized and they can be imprisoned on the caprice of a senile madman. You can't have trade without trust - all that is left in places like the US are predators and prey.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 17 hours ago (2 children)

This unraveling has been going on a lot longer than just six months. It's been accelerating hard since the Patriot Act after 9/11. And even before that, Republicans had been lying about their support of free markets for generations.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 hours ago

Sure it has. It's been going on since the 70s and CEOs making 300 percent of the workforce. It is exactly the same as nobles and their taxes of the poor in almost every Empire's history. And it always leads to a purge that changes things. We could be on the cusp of a Roman takeover. We could be on the cusp of a total collapse. Hard to say which way it's going.

Whatever it is, this will not last forever.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 15 hours ago

Sure but it's lonely at the top. If you rise to the top by backstabbing people, you'll end up exactly how some people right now are, and you keep trying to accumulate more and be great or whatever messing up everything else and being hated.

While a simple life with your loved ones will give you satisfaction. And satisfaction is the key to happiness. Rather satisfaction is the ultimate happiness.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 hours ago

And water is wet

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