The Onion and other satire w/ layers

With the entire evening now threatened by extremists, a lack of concrete dinner plans Friday left a power vacuum reportedly filled by radical pro-Tapas fanatics. “Without strong leadership deciding where to eat, those individuals pushing a rabid small plates agenda have taken on a troubling amount of sway,” said analyst Kirk Parry, confirming that the chaos began when the group discovered that the pizzeria they’d planned to attend was closed, leading to a troubling rise in the influence of those pushing to try a new Mediterranean place. [...]