this post was submitted on 21 Nov 2023
57 points (100.0% liked)

Mental Health

4844 readers
72 users here now

Welcome

This is a safe place to discuss, vent, support, and share information about mental health, illness, and wellness.

Thank you for being here. We appreciate who you are today. Please show respect and empathy when making or replying to posts.

If you need someone to talk to, @[email protected] has kindly given his signal username to talk to: TherapyGary13.12

Rules

The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:

  1. No promoting paid services/products.
  2. Be kind and civil. No bigotry/prejudice either.
  3. No victim blaming. Nor giving incredibly simplistic solutions (i.e. You have ADHD? Just focus easier.)
  4. No encouraging suicide, no matter what. This includes telling someone to commit homicide as "dragging them down with you".
  5. Suicide note posts will be removed, and you will be reached out to in private.
  6. If you would like advice, mention the country you are in. (We will not assume the US as the default.)

If BRIEF mention of these topics is an important part of your post, please flag your post as NSFW and include a (trigger warning: suicide, self-harm, death, etc.)in the title so that other readers who may feel triggered can avoid it. Please also include a trigger warning on all comments mentioning these topics in a post that was not already tagged as such.

Partner Communities

To partner with our community and be included here, you are free to message the current moderators or comment on our pinned post.

Becoming a Mod

Some moderators are mental health professionals and some are not. All are carefully selected by the moderation team and will be actively monitoring posts and comments. If you are interested in joining the team, you can send a message to @[email protected].

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
57
Today undid a lot (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

Today I learned that my ex has been stalking me online.

It's not worth going into any details beyond that she dug out some old post of mine on the fediverse. She's not someone I would expect to come here, but she went looking anyway and used it as an excuse to try and hurt me yet again.

I'm terrified that I'm going to have to file for an intervention order, I honestly thought she would be the one person who would respect being blocked but she made the effort to contact me regardless. It terrifies my that I don't know this person anymore, I have no idea what she's capable of and I have no idea where I'm safe anymore.

The one silver lining has been me finally learning to trust my friends, I've had so much support in such a short time that I feel truely blessed.

I'd just managed to put the last of my anxiety to rest a few short weeks ago, and now this. I know I'll get better again, but a setback like this has me scared that I'm going backwards again.

top 9 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm so sorry this is happening to you! When my thoughts are in a downward spiral grounding exercises work amazing, like playing catch against a wall, listing 5 things I can see, four things I can touch etc. Or trying to think of a plant/famous person/animal for every letter of the alphabet. This helps get me through the short-term when the long-term feels overwhelming.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Oh man, thanks so much.

I completely forgot about all of my usual strategies like this, I really needed the reminder.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

I know this isn't always possible, but if you can, type out a list and keep it somewhere you'll see it/be able to quickly access it. It's a trick my counselor told me, and it's been a huge help. Even just going through the motion of getting it can help kick your brain out of the cycle.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Dude, I have been there with stalkers twice. One was a customer at a previous job (she had a history of violent offenses) and the other was an ex gf (she was a county sheriff). It's scary af and exhausting. What I learned from abuse therapy is that stalkers are the people that don't give a shit about boundaries. They only understand consequences. I highly recommend getting an injunction/restraining order. If it's not granted, they'll tell you what you need for it to be granted next time, so you can set that in motion. It also helps cops investigate and helps you file charges should "something odd" happen.

Stay safe, stay sane, and remember that it's not your fault, no matter what her deranged mouth says.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

A lesson to the rest of us: never tell anyone your usernames

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

A great feature of RES was you could make your username appear as "user" locally. That way, you could browse Reddit in your browser without people around you seeing your username. That'd probably be one of the easier RES features to add here.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

You have gotten through the dark before & you will again. Life will continue to jab at your anxiety. Work on your tools while you're in a good place so they're sharp & ready when you need them. You are fighting the good fight & you can make it

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Thanks everyone for the kind words and advice. I'm doing alright now, and with the help of some friends I've taken steps to keep myself safe.

It's going to be a bit harder for a little bit, but I'm confident I can get through this!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Hey, if it's any consolation, life is tough and no one is really ever safe.