I tried to date an electron once, but I could never figure out her position on any subject without disturbing her and her whole orbit of friends.

Negative.

Nah, they have other electrons to spin around with. Unless we're talking about hydrogen.

Is plasma just an orgy?

Deuterium

It’s cool they’re into being cucked by bigger subatomic particles

Electrons are cucks that want to be cucks

They’re getting one-night stand action with photons though. Bohr caught them in action

Nah, they just vibing doing their thing.

i thought this was gonna be the meme and forgot for a second what an atom is

If I recall correctly, electrons in s orbitals have a nonzero probability of being observed inside the nucleus. So I guess they would be less lonely?

Electrons are fine. They are in a band somewhere filling holes.