this post was submitted on 23 Jan 2024
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[–] [email protected] 94 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"Jesus told us to steal from the poor."

Almost makes me wish heresy was still a thing. =/

It's certainly misrepresentation of a business.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

Don't worry, this guy admitted to everything, seeing how "God told me to" isn't a legal defense. God really told you to spend "thousands on home renovations"? Super cool bro

[–] [email protected] 73 points 1 year ago

Supply side Jesus strikes again.

[–] [email protected] 56 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Oh! OH! The clouds are parting. A beam of light shining down on me. AH! A voice. It calls out to me! It says.... It says you all owe me 200 bucks.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'll send you your 200 deer. Good luck to you.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Best I can do is 200 rabid wolves.

[–] [email protected] 47 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Hearing voices is called schizophrenia

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

TIL my internal monologue is schizophrenia

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

It depends on if you recognize the voice as your own thoughts that you control. If your thoughts hit your inner monologue before they hit your concious thoughts, the voices can quite litterally sound as if someone is speaking to you in the same room.

Normal people experience it extremely rarely, usually when absent mindedly distracted with memories and thoughts or while waking up. Normal people will also rapidly recognize it was a stray thought and there's not actually someone there. Daydream type stuff.

Everyone loves to pretend the differences between "crazy" and "normal" are vast, but all it takes is the tiniest detail of your thought process to be wrong, and suddenly you have A LOT of evidence there's someone or something else talking to you. All it takes is not being very smart beyond that, and suddenly God or your imaginary best friend is telling you to embezzle and you totally believe it.

Probably why ye' olde people merc'd people for heressy. Even amongst the religous who are far more likely to believe with thin evidence, it works to weed out literal crazy.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Any belief in a magic man in the sky is literal crazy.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (14 children)

I don't know about "crazy", but immature and intellectually damaging? Yep.

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"We took God at his word and sold a cryptocurrency with no clear exit," Regalado in his video address Friday.

Bahaha. Not only did god tell them to do it, but he might have misled them a little bit about the profitability of the venture. Bad god, bad.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

He's not the messiah. He's a very naughty boy!

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 year ago

Once again proving that the only problem crypto truly solves is that it was too difficult to efficiently scam people before. 😂

[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 year ago

The lord told the defense attorney to prosecute you, so it balances out.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I think it's time that we church taxes. Literally everyone else has to.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (2 children)

And if the taxes refuse, then what?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

I think most taxes would rather be shut down than churched.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Non-profits don't have to. Which is what churches are legally classified as and required to adhere to.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Churches are for-prophet though

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

Evangelicals

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

I didn't know it was a valid excuse, BRB.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

In Satoshi We Trust

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

My gods tell me to do a lot of stuff. But y'all still got all your blood, don't ya?

Sometimes they're not commandments, just suggestions.

Bad suggestions.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

Is this the wrong spot to announce my ICO?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

So are people just going to be duped by crypto scams for the rest of eternity? How many times does this have to happen before people just stop buying random crypto created by shady people?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Because someone wins. They all know the game is rigged, but the point is to fly as close to the sun without melting your wings. They know that the white paper holders are planning to scam the rubes, you just need to duck out before the rug pull. Can’t believe the leopard ate their face

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

No one wins in crypto scams. Except the people that create them. That's why they're scams and not just "bad investments".

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

God told me to skin you alive.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

The ~~Devil~~ Lord made me do it.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

The Lord would not tell you that.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

When churchmen confess their churches are organized crime syndicates

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Jesus told me there's a free spot on the crucifix for this scammer.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm pretty sure if Jesus was still here he would condemn crypto the same way he condemn those ancient bankers.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Jesus didn't "condemn ancient bankers," he booted money chargers from the temple. He wasn't railing against capitalism, he was against people using what was meant to be a place of worship, for those purposes.

There's nothing inherently different about crypto that Jesus would have been against compared to fiat currency. It's not like cash scams don't exist.

Not that it matters since it's all bullshit anyway.

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