Autism

Well, that and the weird obsession with autocracy because they can't admit that their folk heroes might have actually just been assholes who did more to harm leftist movements than any western opposition ever did.

"you could talk to service workers if you wanted to, you just think you're better than them"

As a service worker, don't talk to me any more than you have to

(edit): Felt the need to elaborate on this. It's not that I resent having to talk to you or anything, it's that we're human too and we're prone to the same anxieties our customers are. Some of us are social butterflies, but for me it gets exhausting after a while, so it's annoying when people talk to me about things that aren't related to how I can help them. It's hard enough for me to converse with people I'm actually friends with!

There's nothing you can throw at me that I won't be able to help you with, so don't be scared to come to me. But unless you're telling me you like my hair or my outfit or something, I'd rather jump straight into helping you with what you need.

And don't you dare tell a vegan you can't drink anything with plant milk!

People are fake. A lot of online spaces outside of spots like Facebook (which is Gen X/boomer territory) are more so left leaning, so a lot of people tend to spout what they think is popular. Some might believe it but won't put any efforts into practicing those beliefs, while others just simply don't believe what they're sharing.

Pride month is a good example of this. As soon as the months over most people who were spamming their socials with all sorts of LGBT support messages could care less.

"And I would never bully someone for being autistic"

"or react like you didnt even try"

tbh, they are often in the same boat with autistic people. normies are allowed to be offended and not be able to make the connection to autism.

they should practice kindness but so should the rest of us.

Sadly we love hierarchy dominance just about as much as we hate how much it makes us look like apes.

Teachers and school administrators almost always side with bullies. They can't help themselves.

That sounds tough. I once knew someone who had a medical issue with severe dietary restrictions like you, and a tone deaf coworker was like “haha at least you can lose weight, sounds great!” FFS

Some friendly advise. A neurodivergent partner can be great but you can never assume they will be similar to you in the same setting. Coping mechanisms can be opposites and what is comfortable for you may be stressful for them.

Me and my partner are both on the spectrum and i wouldn’t have it any other way but its common for at least one of us to deal with something at any given time (so there are few true breaks from stress) and at worst our challenges can amplify eachother.

In the end everyone is unique so maintain an open mind when dating and try not tp judge all neurotypicals the same way.

Maybe I'm autistic because that sounds fucking awesome. Fuck small talk. I just like existing by people I care about.

I do believe that is the point of the post; however, it also implies that the kind of person it describes does not understand that they are actually engaging in bullying behaviours.

Ableism is so entrenched in society that "teasing" (thought of as playful, but is actually harmful) people for being a little different is not seen as anything to bat an eye at. Media upholds the normalization of this kind of ableism through shaming these traits in the form of "jokes" — meaning that when people in turn do it to others, they often believe themselves to be engaging in funny banter. When it is actually creating an environment that others autistic and neurodivergent people. Ie, upholding systemic ableism. All without their knowledge.

The point of a post such as this is partially for autistic people to commiserate, but also hopefully for a few people to stop and think about their own behaviour. If they are the kind of person who wishes to be inclusive to autistic people, seeing this might make them realize how they do unconsciously bully autistic people when they denigrate people with these traits. And hopefully they will stop, though it takes time to deconstruct and unlearn this kind of behaviour.

Positive according to whom? What’s positive for you may be destructive for me.

Which ones of these are bad behavior?

As a father who either has to prepare the same meals over and over, or else make two separate meals, I do not share your positive outlook

Thank you friend, from an autistic person with food issues.

The key word here is "bully". It's also a tricky word because the line where bullying starts is often blurry. There's a context-dependent spectrum of gray that makes up the difference between bullying and calling someone out on assholeish behaviour. I think you're right that absolutist poisons don't work here.

My reading of the initial post was somewhat different than yours. I imagined the person saying "I would never bully someone for being autistic" as someone who believes themselves to be a Good Person(TM), despite engaging in bullying behaviours. My brain went there because I've known people like that. Maybe they would refrain from bullying someone who they knew as being autistic, but if they take that approach, they're going to inadvertently bully a heckton of autistic people for their autistic traits, just because they don't know they're autistic. I don't think that's okay.

I interpreted the original post as advocating for being more tolerant regardless of labels or identities, because often, we don't know the full context behind a behaviour. A complement to this is that being autistic doesn't exempt you from being an asshole. I want to be called out for shitty behaviour, but I don't want to be bullied.

I feel like I'm articulating my point badly, but something that's underlying this entire comment is a book I read a while back named "Racism without racists". It looks at racism as a product of the system, and how neutral or even good people can be a part of perpetuating it. Acknowledging this is a necessary and often uncomfortable step towards dismantling unjust systems and it doesn't mean that people are Bad People(TM). When people feel attacked and perceive "the system that we are a part of and that some of us benefit from is structurally racist" as being an accusation of "you are racist", it leads to them becoming defensive and refusing to acknowledge the address of the broken system.

I think ableism functions in a similar way. Society is ableist on so many levels, but I've found discussing this to be difficult when I have to walk on eggshells to avoid people becoming offended as if I have accused them of being ableist (even if I haven't used that word at all and am focussing on constructive discussions about way forwards). It feels hypocritical when people consider themselves an ally, but then have the audacity to take a basic access request like "please don't label the event as wheelchair accessible if it isn't" and make it about them, becoming outraged. My take on the original post is that it's directed at this kind of hypocrisy.

So, I have to give you my medical diagnosis about personal mental health issues before you respect me enough to not make fun of me?

So if someone doesn't have a document signed by a doctor stating that they are, in fact, different than the norm, you can be an asshole to them for being different from the norm? Go fuck yourself.

If it's okay for an autistic person to have these traits, why can't someone else? This kind of mindset is what makes the world so inherently hostile to autistic people. Even if you don't shame people whom you know to have autism for these traits, you are still communicating to them that you think these traits are bad when you shame others for having them.

And why are these traits "bad?" None of these really affect anyone but the person who has them. Picky eating limits the person's own choices, not your own. Their lack of understanding of humor or sarcasm isolates them socially from others, not you. It's not a reflection on the quality of your joke. Their awkwardness hurts themself significantly more than it can possibly hurt you. Not wanting to be touched is a basic personal boundary that should be respected no matter whose boundary it is. Fidgeting is a harmless motion. Most of what we shame for being "cringey" interests are rooted in misogyny anyway, and others' interests do not harm you in any way. Meltdowns are something that anyone can experience, if pushed to the brink. Autistic people just happen to have more sensitivities, and also to live in a world that is actively hostile to them. Of course they will be pushed to the brink more often.

It can be hard to unlearn ableism. And I hope you're able to read these words with an open mind and take the time to introspect on why you hold the beliefs that you have expressed here, and try to understand the harm that they cause to autistic people. It's especially harmful to express them here — as I'm glad that you noticed, and walked back — but I wanted to also address you in a more general way, because I believe that this sentiment would have been harmful even if you had expressed it on 196 (where you stated that you originally thought you were.)