Depress_Mode

Wow, what a thorough answer, thank you! The summation was almost poetic, in a beautiful and somewhat horrifying way. The whole system laid out like that almost seems a bit dark and dystopian in kind of an indescribable way. It sounds like a sentient, Lovecraftian rat's-nest of wires running the whole world.

Yeah, that seems to align nicely with the instincts I outlined in my comment. No need to apologize. Thanks!

From what I googled, it's especially bad when you pair "man" and "female" together, which makes sense to me.

No stupid questions time: This kind of lurks in the back of my mind and I sometimes find myself hesitating to use the term "female" to refer to female figures in any context. I don't have to do that, right? Like, would "woman lawyer" be better than "female lawyer" in contexts where specifying gender might be relevant? I would conversely prefer the term "male lawyer" in the same context and "man lawyer" sounds just as odd to me as "woman lawyer". "Lawyer who is a woman" is a little verbose, too. Am I overthinking this?

TL;DR? It's not written like an article at all (i.e. the important information isn't what's included first like it's supposed to be). It's all one long buried lede that goes on and on.

I was curious, so I pasted it into a word processor. This article is literally thirty three pages long. It's really more of a short story than an article.

My thoughts exactly; I realized that after posting my comment, too. All it would take is for mom to put two-and-two together with the circumstances to get suspicious. It's possible there are other relatives with keys, though. It's also possible there isn't any footage available of the actual entering of the property. Still pretty screwed unless everyone else is as dumb as he is. Cops will probably have asked the aunt if anyone else has a key or otherwise had free access, since there'd be no sign of forced entry, which would greatly narrow down suspects no matter how many relatives had keys. If her nephew happens to appear on camera nearby right around when the robbery could have occurred, and he's not routinely seen walking around the neighborhood, that's not a good look. It's still circumstantial, though. With 4chan in mind again, he probably does still live with his mom and has the stolen stuff in his closet or under his bed or something. Even if he doesn't still live with her, I bet his mom could still make an excuse to visit his place to look around. Then he's really cooked once she finds the stuff. It's probably only a matter of time before it all blows up in his face. Something tells me OOP isn't exactly a criminal mastermind.

Gotta be drugs, right? I can't think of many other things that might lead someone to steal from their own relatives. Not good at all, but at least he could blame addiction. With 4chan in mind, though, I shudder to think that they might have robbed their aunt just to get enough money to buy some stupid hobby/collector's item. What's his plan now, though? Still no cash in hand. He could try selling them anonymously on craigslist, but it's risky keeping the stolen goods on you and he probably doesn't know any fences. Fortunately for OOP, cops don't give a shit about houses getting robbed and aren't going to follow-up on it by tracking down and seeing in person all the possible listings. Their aunt will never hear back from those cops. OOP just better hope his aunt doesn't see any of that footage herself and recognize him.

I feel like I heard somewhere that French inches were longer than English inches and that Napoleon was actually a little taller than average. Not gonna bother trying to find what youtube video I might have heard that from, though.

I think this is a pretty good representation of rams in pastry form. I can see the phallic resemblance, but honestly, I think this isn't bad at all. If you wanted to be sure they wouldn't be confused with anything other than a ram, perhaps you could get some food-grade paints and paint in eyes, nose, mouth, nostrils, etc. I think the faces being painted/frosted on would help eliminate the tendency to see a dick and make it less ambiguous.

I've had to read a few old German documents for personal genealogical research and good god, the handwritten words were hard to make out. Spent like 20 minutes just trying to read the phrase "ein und funfzig" (51, as in 1851). Someone else who'd read those documents completely misread them and listed his birthyear 20 years later than it should be, implying he was a 13 year old boy when he married a 30-something year old woman.

4% of a fart is oxygen, according to the article, which is enough to react with all of the hydrogen-sulfide, since 1 mole of oxygen is enough to react with more than 1 mole of hydrogen-sulfide (H₂S makes up around 1% of the total volume).

TL;DR: No. The half-life of hydrogen-sulfide (one of smelliest constituents of a fart) reacting with the oxygen in the jar from just your fart is 12-37 hours. The article gives an example of a particularly potent hypothetical fart that would only retain any distinguishable odor for 9 days tops.