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joined 2 years ago
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How to get out of an uncomfortable egg culture situation with this one simple trick.

Real talk: Calling people eggs is a violation of the egg prime directive, and is considered invalidating as you are trying to say that a person is not the gender they identify as, that their identity is invalid. Don't call people eggs, like ever, it's extremely uncool.

75
Programmer_irl (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
 
 

How to get out of an uncomfortable egg culture situation with this one simple trick.

Real talk: Calling people eggs is a violation of the egg prime directive, and is considered invalidating as you are trying to say that a person is not the gender they identify as, that their identity is invalid. Don't call people eggs, like ever, it's extremely uncool.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago (2 children)

There's no catch? If I press this it'll just make me taller and nothing else? That seems almost too good to be true, these kinds of buttons usually have unpleasant side effects, sometimes framed as pleasant (i.e. would secretly make me grow boobs).

 
 
 

Today we're making a post explaining the Egg prime directive here because a lot of people aren't fully aware of what it means and a few people haven't been following it. Today We will clear up some misconceptions about the egg prime directive. Explain why it is important, and also clarify that compliance with it here and on blahaj.zone is absolutely obligatory.

What is the Egg Prime Directive?

According to genderdysphoria.fyi the Egg Prime Directive is an "unspoken agreement between trans people not to tell people who are questioning their gender whether or not they are trans." I have also heard it compared to the Prime Directive in Star Trek which is a rule prohibiting interference with the development of alien cultures. While we think these are great starting points they are flawed in that they lack the fine details a code of rules should. There's a lot of fuzziness and uncertainty around it and what is or isn't acceptable under it. Which is why we are here today. We are going to explain the nuances of the Egg prime directive as well as add our own very much desired amendments to our version of it to ensure that this community is a safe and respectful place towards all, questioning, trans, or otherwise.


Egg Prime Directive Details

On genderdysphoria.fyi they state that if a person is explicitly told they are trans it opens up ground for denial, it activates mechanisms that trigger internalized transphobia and make people psychologically resist and dismiss gender dysphoria. This is 100% true, but it does not tell the whole story, and leaves out quite a few of the negative effects of what can happen if people of any gender identity are called or accused of being eggs, or coerced to identify a certain way.


When people get called Eggs

The experience of being told by someone else that your gender is wrong, that you're an egg, that your trans in denial can be extremely jarring or disheartening for many people, cis or trans. Depending on the situations it might even be scary or torturous. Some of the people who engage in so-called "egging" know how to take advantage of this and ask leading questions or taunt people in these situations who clearly aren't comfortable. Contrary to what certain political figures have stated, such interactions will not turn a person trans or cause a trans person to stop being trans. They will also not "deeply confuse" people into getting gender affirming treatments. However Egging itself can cause psychological confusion, it can cause mental distress and make people doubt themselves. They may if they are trans slip further into denial, like what genderdysphoria.fyi said. If they are a cisgender person who is Gender-Nonconforming, they may doubt themselves or feel something is wrong with themselves for the way they identify, the way they present, or both combined. They may feel self-hatred. When Egging involves people who are nonbinary or genderfluid these effects can be made much worse, as most forms of egging are directly invalidating to the experiences of Nonbinary, and genderfluid people. In short there are a whole host of negative psychological effects associated with egging.


What is and isn't "Egging"

There is a lot of confusion (some of it intentional misrepresentation) on what is and isn't considered egging. Some people choose to believe it is lighthearted humor, others more disingenuously believe it is the act of explaining trans issues to a person.

Here though we are sharply and clearly defining Egging as:

The act of badgering, insisting, or telling a person that they are an egg, or trans in denial due to an expression of mannerisms, clothing, or other presentation that does not match traditional gender stereotypes of the gender they currently identify as, or their apparent assigned gender at birth (AGAB).

Additionally actions meant to imply or insinuate this conclusion, or imply or insinuate disbelief in the person's gender identification on the basis of their expression of mannerisms, clothing, or other presentation that does not match gender stereotypes of the gender they identify as or their apparent AGAB, are also considered egging.

Finally, we consider any outward actions that refuse to acknowledge or respect the way a person chooses to identify themselves as indirect egging. As well as presumption that their identified gender is wrong.

While this may not account for every possible scenario a person has been called an egg in violation of the Egg Prime Directive, it is the one of the most common ones that happen.

Some examples include but aren't limited to:

  • Calling a gender non-conforming person an egg for wanting to have characteristics more in line with the opposite gender or be more androgynous.
  • Calling a person an egg for playing a character in a video game with a gender or sex different to their own.
  • Calling a person an egg for behaving or committing an action that goes against gender stereotypes.

Some people might consider telling another person that a person is or might be trans in denial to not be egging or to be permitted by the Egg Prime Directive, however we do not consider it to be. As it makes a presumption about a person's gender different than how they identify, thus invalidating it. As well as an attempt to change people's opinions about said person and/or the way they are treated by those people. Thus it is a violation of the Egg Prime Directive.

To sit down and offer support to a person explain to them the nature of gender identity, talk to them about your own gender identity. About what it means to be trans in general is not considered egging, and does not violate the egg prime directive. In fact this is considered supportive and affirming behavior.

To use the term "Egg" to describe your past self prior to coming out or identifying as trans is not a violation of the egg prime directive. It is the intended usage of the term.


Why does this matter?

The Egg Prime Directive matters because in a community dedicated to be a safe space for questioning people, people must feel safe to question. It also must be a safe space for anyone who is gender nonconforming, including many trans and nonbinary people. The act of Egging makes a space unsafe for these people, it means they have to tread lightly to avoid saying the wrong thing. It means their gender identity is up for questioning and debate by other people, and that is not a recipe for a safe space for people to question their gender and receive support and affirmation. In all likelihood spaces like that will lead to the opposite.


Enforcement of the Egg Prime Directive.

In Egg_irl it is obligatory that you follow the Egg Prime Directive. Violations are not permitted, under any circumstances. People who are found to be violating the Egg Prime Directive, excuse blatant violations of it, or encourage others to violate or otherwise not follow it, will receive moderator action. In all cases the offending content will either be removed entirely, or it may be locked as a public demonstration. Depending on the severity the offending user may be banned temporarily or permanently from the community.

Users permanently banned for violation of the Egg prime directive will also be entirely excommunicated from the egg_irl community. This may seem harsh, but since reddit.com/r/egg_irl has been all but destroyed by egging, it is necessary to maintain a safe space here. Do not violate our trust and faith in you and it will not be an issue.


Closing thoughts

While this was a bit of a long one I hope I was able to get across the importance of the Egg Prime Directive to people. I hope I was able to help people understand the kinds of behaviors that are unacceptable.

If you have any questions or feedback you'd like to add, please leave a comment. If I explained something wrong or if something came across wrong to you please let me know so I can hopefully correct it.

1
egg♂️👗irl (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
 

How to get out of an uncomfortable egg culture situation with this one simple trick.

Real talk: Calling people eggs is a violation of the egg prime directive, and is considered invalidating as you are trying to say that a person is not the gender they identify as, that their identity is invalid. Don't call people eggs, like ever, it's extremely uncool.

 

How to get out of an uncomfortable egg culture situation with this one simple trick.

Real talk: Calling people eggs is a violation of the egg prime directive, and is considered invalidating as you are trying to say that a person is not the gender they identify as, that their identity is invalid. Don't call people eggs, like ever, it's extremely uncool.

 
 
[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

Just for clarification I'm Agender, I've said it before, I only say I'm a femboy and not a femby because femby is way too often perceived as transfem which I am not. I'm also not a cis person I'm Isogender. It literally says it in my profile. Please don't spread lies about me because you're upset about a temporary ban or that I locked an extremely controversial thread due to Egg Prime Directive violations.

Just so we're clear on this, I'm not the only one who thinks this. Ada is very much on board with enforcing the Egg Prime Directive and you should be lucky you only got a temp ban, especially after the shit you posted in this thread.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

Probably assholes who just hate femboys.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago

I don't think I need to say this but you should not go cracking people's eggs, it's misgendering and disrespectful and also violates the Egg prime directive. Respect people as the gender they claim to identify as until they say otherwise.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

That sounds very dangerous and painful. There are easier and better ways to remove unwanted hair.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

You're very welcome.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

From what I've read he isn't, he's just a femboy who likes to cross-dress. But in Traa everyone likes to claim that a person who does that must be trans, for some reason.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I know, I love it when people get confused because they can't tell, though I do wish I didn't also look like a kid because it's kinda embarrassing to be asked by someone if my parents know where my parents are because they think I'm 12 or 14. (Should add that's just bc of my genetics, I haven't taken anything to change my appearance).

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Nope but it very much annoys me that the games lack an NB option.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (5 children)

Ok yeah, I worded it a bit badly, I edited the text so it's hopefully more clear.

No Invalidation Gender Identity. Specifically no calling people eggs, also known informally as egging, which is trying to insist that a femboy (or any other GNC person) must be trans due to being GNC

Basically it's saying they must be a girl (trans) because they dress like one. Was a popular thing to do in r/Egg_irl a while back (at the expense of the femboys featured) which is where the term egg came from and why it became known as 'egging'.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It is in general considered pretty disrespectful to fetishize transness, because it almost portrays trans people as if they are sex objects, as opposed to real people who should be treated with dignity and respect.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

With what? I stated that I am not transfem and that if the circumstance in question happened to me it would make me unhappy and I would take steps to reverse it. Not really much more to say to that.

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