Conversely, I am not LGBTQ+ and I don't need to be in their space. They get to deal with normies all the time in everyday life.
Tbh this experience explains the be nice rule. We often get to be treated badly in everyday life. Many of us experience a passive level of hostility and interrogation just out in the world living our lives. A portion of people internalize a portion of what they hear, which leads to hostility and conflict within the community. To counter the flow of outside hate into the group, many LGBTQ+ communities have that sort of blanket tone rule. When you're sorting out that you're a different and controversial type of person, it's important to have a space to express yourself without intense scrutiny. You need a place where it is safe to be wrong, because you're often declared wrong and attacked just for being there, so you can't judge your own thoughts and feelings. It's important that people in that position can be helped and directed without being stifled. Otherwise the true form of the self can be lost to self defense conformity.
None. I wish I could see more content. Not enough is made of the fact that you only see content your instance is already connected to. Part of my frustration with the platform is that I joined a neutral instance to have as much content as possible, but relatively little of it is shuffled to me in the all feed. I like discovering new things online. I hate the catch 22 of federation content access, where being on a large enough instance to be certain you're well connected means being on an instance that has blocked a lot of content to appease its larger userbase.