Cant believe im posting this.
Octopuses do not have any bones with the exception of their beaks. so if you are responsible and depraved enough to be literally the life support of your 8 limbed friend, you can debeak it like how you'd declaw a cat and then push your member into it's feed chute.
You can then let it subsist on your baby batter.
The Octopus is smart. Very smart. It will learn that without it's beak, it cannot feed on anything else but your human seed that has to be milked from you.
Every morning, you will feel your clothes slide off and a damp weight on your lower half.
The sensation creeps up your body until most of the jiggly mass has enveloped the entire length. It will start pumping as fast as it can for it is hungry.
The animal gyrates its empty stomach and the folds of its brain rubbing on your glans, begging for nutrition.
You climax and give the marine creature's breakfast. The pumping slows down but doesn't stop to milk out the last few drops of its meal.
Looking into its yellow animal eyes, it looks back with a thousand-yard stare. This will be routine for all of its meals for the rest of it's 3-5 years on this god forsaken planet.
Although by far the eco friendly option, natural (or direct) burials are still quite expensive, at around $2600. Most of this is related to the cost of the plot itself, and most of the savings come from using a cheaper/no casket.
Direct cremation is generally cheaper, being $800 - $3000, with most options averaging around $2000.
How Much Does A Green Burial Cost? - https://choicemutual.com/blog/green-burial-cost/
What is the average cost of a cremation? - US Funerals Online - https://www.us-funerals.com/what-is-the-average-cost-of-a-cremation/