Widdershins

Advertisers waste our time which is the only measurable currency we are all spending at the same rate

The only reason I'd be caught driving a tesla is if it had a completely true bumper sticker that said "I bought it after he blew his brains out."

Illinois is the Prairie State. Rockies are far west, much closer to the west coast, and Appalachians are to the east. There is the Fox River Valley about an hour west of Chicago but a river valley is not mountains at all. The biggest change in elevation you'll see in most of Chicago is highway on/off ramps and the train going from the subway to elevated tracks. There is at most a staircase to go from downtown city streets to Lake Michigan(Great Lakes). Sometimes that staircase is just a pedestrian bridge to walk over or under Lake Shore Drive to the lakefront.

There's an area north of the airport(northwest side) that is unusually flat and is a meteor crater under 100ft of sediment called the Des Plaines Disturbance. It is a 2-280 million years old meteor crater and the informational sign for it features a picture of the much more famous Meteor Crater located in Arizona(worth a visit). The Des Plaines crater is not famous enough to be pictured on it's own sign and probably unknown to most people living in it.

That said, Chicago metro area certainly isn't known for natural hills. A sledding hill in nearby Evanston is called Mount Trashmore because it was formerly a landfill. Walter Payton trained on an old landfill. If you're on a hill and can see Chicago it's probably an old landfill.

She's in two cults now

Shackleford as in the flower company out of Calumet City?

Remember when Sobe bottles were glass and had the manufacturing weak point near the bottom you could smash out with a nail and a rock? They made excellent steamrollers.

Was the pyramid scheme selling the sheets?

Shakespeare once wrote Heavy is the head that wears the crown of infrared LEDs. LED and hat technology since Shakespeare's time has greatly advanced so any old Joe with an afternoon and elbow grease can at least blind the eggs instead of directly scrambling them.

I listen to a lot of Knowledge Fight which is a podcast that covers and tears apart Infowars. I've heard Alex Jones say a lot of names to which I don't care to put a ~~halloween mask~~ face to.

And there go my nipples again

Is Joe Schmoe going to have to answer for his shitbox that just plowed through a school zone with an unusual number of speed bumps? Joe hasn't even met his vehicle yet and it's gonna be out there committing crimes potentially under his name.

https://lakes.grace.edu/lake/boner-lake/