nichtsowichtig

Video Essay by non-binary video essayist Ryan Beard. It discusses misgony, missandry, and different strains of feminism, and explores how they approach men's issues in patriarchy.

Very interesting watch in my opinion.

CW: Post discusses ABA and possibly Trauma, internalized ableism

Hello there! I'm currently researching the issue of ABA. I'm reading a lot about the criticisms, but most of the resources I found so far are (likely) made by level 1 autistics. As level 2 and level 3 autistics are not as well represented within autism self-advocacy, I would like to understand their position better on the topic. A usual defense for ABA is that it can help high-support-needs autistics to learn important skills, but I would like to read about that from an autistic perspective.

So if there are resources on the subject you can recommend, I'll be grateful! thank you

edit: I'm updating because users in this thread changed my view on this issue. I've been caught up in functioning label, which at the end of the day "levels" of autism still are. Here is what changed my mind:

Those needs you are looking for in an autistic person are completely and utterly irrelevant to you as a reader of their experience, and as far as you’re concerned any or all of the people who have already written about their experience of ABA fit in to your narrow and ignorant category, they just didn’t mention it because again - it isn’t fucking relevant.

There is no reason for me to specifically look for "level 2 or 3" autistics since their experiences are valid, regardless of them disclosing their support needs. It is ableist to expect them to disclose to me how "disabled" they are in order for me to validate their experience. Thanks @[email protected] and @[email protected] for helping me understand this. So in a way I found the answers I was looking for, and now I have some thinking to do

elastic bow, cloak of repulsion, etheral chains, ring of arcana, ring of evasion. kept everyone away from me, no time for small talk.

The seed is actually quite fun: there are two +2 Crossbows in the first 5 floors but not a single armor. A bit of a challenge, but fun: TVX-ZLX-FSY

written by Ben Gidley, Daniel Mang, Daniel Randall.

Hi there. Things have spiraled out of control lately, I don't have a stable job at the moment and when I do, I mostly work from home.

I urgently need to establish some kind of routine and find a way to follow it. Productivity isn't even the priority as I do have a good amount of free time. Problem is that I don't use this boredom effectively at all.

I wanted to know if there are books/guides that could help ADHD people establish routines and how to keep them up. I'm autistic too, which means I greatly benefit from routine.

Thanks for any kind of advice!

I feel a little bad for asking for help again..

So I need to do something. I have no idea what though. So these are things to consider for me:

• I prefer something regular and scheduled. My Autism needs consistency, but my ADHD makes it really hard to establish and maintain.
• I need to get out of my home. I am withering here
• some (predictable) social interaction is okay. If it is too much I probably won't be able to keep up. I'd prefer something with a low upfront social cost (honestly the idea of being introduced to a new group feels overwhelming)
• I prefer a somewhat sensory friendly environment (for example the music in a gym would be really really stressful)

I would like to know what kinds of things you found in your lives that worked. Thanks!

I've spent some time reflecting yesterday and I realized that. When people want you to be confident they don't want you to be actually confident, they want you to pretend you are. It is idiotic and makes no sense, but it explains a lot of situations in which I behaved the wrong way.

confidence to me means the opposite of that. it means questioning your asssumptions, approaching things from a different angle, reflect, recalculate, asking for a second opinion. Because I'll end up with greater confidence that my assertions are more truthful. But apparently doing all that makes people think I'm insecure. Shit!

I don't know where the purpose of my life is. I looked where I last saw it and it isn't there anymore. It's like losing your keychain. All I can do is hope I forgot it somewhere at home because I sure can't go outside without it. I wanna find joy in things again, and it is so difficult to get you shit together when everything feels so meaningless.

The more I look for the keys the more I fear I lost them for good. Which makes me not wanna search for them at all and just distract myself with random stuff. I think that describes my situation quite well.

Anyway I'm sad. But I hope you all are doing okay!

I have been planning for ages to clean up my room and remove the spider but since I've been depressed and my executive dysfunction has been at work, I didn't do anything about it.

Guess what happened today - the spider caught a fly and is happily feasting right now. So turns out I haven't been all alone lately - both the spider and I have been in some kind of hibernation for some time. The spider also doesn't initiate smalltalk so I think it is fair to assume it is autistic too.

Anyway I've posted here lately as I haven't been well, so I'll just let you know that I feel a bit more positive about getting shit done and change things for the better. hugs (for anyone who wants one)!

I honestly feel bad posting here again, I feel like a burden. It's just me struggling.. so feel free to skip this post and look at more interesting things

the past two months have been much tougher for me than usual, and when I am not doing well, my capacity to interact with other people is pretty close to zero. I feel a very strong desire to be alone. Having other people notice that I am not well is pretty much the worst thing - I can't talk about what's wrong, and every time I tried my best expressing myself it didn't help. All I really get is advice that does not work for me. So I usually try to pretend I am okay, but at a certain point I can't even really do that anymore.

problem is I'm not living alone. I've skipped quite a number of meals in the past week because I don't want to get into conversations that I don't want to have. I feel like it would be disastrous unmasked, that's why I go this far just to avoid interaction. both of my roommates judge me for spending so much time in my room and I think they tell me to get out every time they see me. I never know how to react to that. Being open about my mental health isn't a good idea - it will end up in them giving me advice that might work for neurotypical, and then they'd blame me if I don't follow their advice. They already kind of do that. I've told one of them about my diagnosis but I don't really think that has no meaning for him.

I feel pathetic skipping dinner anything because I want to avoid social interactions. But in all honesty, I still think it is not worth the stress.

I am currently in a social event and I am too exhausted to have conversations, so I figured I just pretend I'm busy texting by writing this post. I have to stay here for at least two more hours and I have two more (social) things to do tomorrow.. one of them I'll probably cancel because it is just too much but I did not think of an excuse yet.. I feel dishonest and I really hate it, but I also didn't have really good experiences coming out as autistic.. it has never felt accomodating and often pretty invalidating. My depression has been hitting harder than usual, which is extra hard because I have to pretend I am okay just to avoid interactions I can't handle right now. So anywhere I'm not even trying to make a point here I just need something to keep be busy and not make me look weird. Anyways, wish me luck idk, I'm really not enjoying life a lot rn :I

Edit: thanks a lot everyone! I read the replies several times, it has been reassuring and as a plus it kept me busy yesterday. :)

recently two friends of mine brought up autism in a conversation. one of them knows about my diagnosis and the other one is a nurse and regularly works with autistic children.

They brought up lots of things I disagree with and that kind of hurt me.. They said things like "there are severely autistic people and there are others that are pretty chill" "being autistic is fashionable these days" "people use their autism as an excuse for bad behavior" "autistic people should keep their diagnosis for themselves because society is not really ready for that yet"

I tried to argue against it, but I wasn't really good at that. I also didn't feel comfortable to say I am autistic. I felt really devastated when I got back home. I texted one of my friends (the one who knows I am autistic) and said the whole conversation made me feel really bad.

Since she is gay I said that I am feeling the same way you would feel if two of your friends talked about homosexuality the way they talked about autism ("being gay is fashion these days" "people use their homosexuality as an excuse for bad behavior", "gay people should stay in the closet because society is not ready for them"...) She got really angry at me, literally told me to go fuck myself and that I am victimizing myself...

I feel so hurt by this. invalidated. I don't know.. I just wanted to share :I