vestmoria

A conversation with a senior physician triggered this question. He's been 35 years on the job and recently wrote me a letter of recommendation.

I'm changing wards due to drama and a manager who only wants gossip, dumbed down nurses at her unit.

This is a physician I've only talked to like 5 times in the 18 months I've been working at my old ward, somebody every other nurse at the unit told me to leave alone, because he's a senior physician (yes, that was the reason).

My former manager put a bare C on my performance review, something I didn't sign, so I asked this doctor to write a short text numbering my duties and what I can do to show my new ward but he wrote a full fledged letter of recommendation instead.

What the doctor told me while signing it: you're good at informing patients and take the extra step sensing what analysis they need, I've never had a nurse with so much positive feedback from so many patients, you're never gonna be a good fit here because the manager is a gossip and she controls the unit and you don't talk much, if you ever want to work PACU, tell me as I know the senior doctor there. Keep doing what you do, you'll find a good fit eventually.

I've already used downtime to read and learn, but nursing being gossipy and catty, all I achieved was being accused of being lazy, unfriendly, neglecting patients and a conversation with mentioned gossip manager, because she always believed her friends over me. She never asked me for my side of the story, but accused me directly.

Back to the doctor's conversation: keep doing what I do means reading and learning during downtime at the workplace: first thing I want to do at my new unit is showing them the letter of recommendation and explaining I want to learn and I learn better alone, when I read.

I also want to tell them I'm not a talkative person (meaning I don't care about drama or gossip), but I really don't know how a group of mostly women who don't know me can react to that.

I've been offered a position as a nurse at a GYN ward and I don't know if I should take it:

New ward, a chance to learn new things.

But also potential for drama way worse than everything I've experienced so far.

Last so 'female' unit I worked at was obstetrics at another hospital and it was like being on a show about mean girls: territorial, emotional, gossipy, interrupting report to gossip, ignoring report completely, playing favorites, rules for me but not for thee... not worth it.

what should I do?

cross-posted from: https://linux.community/post/2267705

I'm a nurse thinking about expanding my job options and knowledge, maybe studying something. I don't want to work bedside till I'm old enough to cash in my 401k because then I'll have a broken back and I don't want to become one of those old angry nurses constantly on edge because she's angry at life.

To me, the way to achieve this is to learn a lot of things systematically: medicines (not the brand names, but the active components, because doctors where I work use components extensively), diagnoses that are often abbreviated, right anatomical names for bones, muscles and blood vessels..., right ranges for arterial and venous blood gas parameters and clinical chemistry...

It's tedious and repetitive and I don't want to take any drugs to study better, but I believe it fits me because I was always an introverted bookworm.

Is there any better way to learn this than the way I just described? It means 3 hours of reading and repeating concepts and ranges after my shift.

I'm a nurse thinking about expanding my job options and knowledge, maybe studying something. I don't want to work bedside till I'm old enough to cash in my 401k because then I'll have a broken back and I don't want to become one of those old angry nurses constantly on edge because she's angry at life.

To me, the way to achieve this is to learn a lot of things systematically: medicines (not the brand names, but the active components, because doctors where I work use components extensively), diagnoses that are often abbreviated, right anatomical names for bones, muscles and blood vessels..., right ranges for arterial and venous blood gas parameters and clinical chemistry...

It's tedious and repetitive and I don't want to take any drugs to study better, but I believe it fits me because I was always an introverted bookworm.

Is there any better way to learn this than the way I just described? It means 3 hours of reading and repeating concepts and ranges after my shift.

on one of my lasts posts, most of the people that answered agreed with the idea I'm on the spectrum. I don't know. I don't see anything wrong being myself.

I'd just like some serious answers from neurotypicals explaining to me why my question triggered my coworker so much:

Manager called me to ask if I can take an extra shift at a different unit because they're short staffed due to illness. I agreed.

Because that unit sometimes overfills and nurses there have to take care of more patients than the ratio agreed with the union I called the unit to ask how many patients they do have today, to have an idea if my shift tomorrow is going to be an easy or a difficult one.

The coworker started yelling and calling me an idiot and using some other choice words, so I said "ok" and hung up.

I didn't yell at her, I simply asked the question in a neutral tone, and I still don't get the animosity.

20 minutes later the same person calls to inform she called our manager and tomorrow I don't have to work at that unit.

All this stupid drama because I asked how many patients they have? I simply don't get it.

Am I really this autistic?

cross-posted from: https://linux.community/post/2201560

I've received a xiaomi phone as a present, a 2022 redmi 10c 220333QNY, but I've read in several sources that this is a brand that systematically eavesdrops everything the user does. There's also the fear they pass this information to the CCP, which, if you are a Taiwanese, Tibetan, Uighur or Hongkong democracy activist or a foreigner promoting multiparty democracy in China might be used to spy on you and incarcerate you.

Other brands, western if you want to call them that, might do the same, I don't know. That's why I ask these questions:

• Are all phone brands the same, meaning they all eavesdrop on me and no matter what brand I use some personal information will end up in their servers?

• If all brands are equally bad, what can a quite ignorant end user like me do to minimize the information transmitted to the manufacturer? I cannot even root this device and last time I tried getting rid of another phone's bloatware I bricked the device.

• If some brands are better privacy wise, which ones?

• Am I protecting my privacy if I don't use any default application and disregard any ad to use products from google and use exclusively f-droid?

I don't mind voiding the warranty and I wouldn't mind installing a FOSS OS on this redmi model, as I won't bank or pay taxes using this device, but I don't find anything that works. Suggestions welcomed.

I'm a nurse. I recently wrote about how I've discovered this job can be enjoyable, provided ratios are respected, I don't work with gossips, micromanagers and drama queens. I also like working with doctors that explain to me how things work and as a novelty, I've started reading on my free time about diagnoses, procedures and medicines.

Option A: go to my new unit and do the same.

Option B: patient transporter. I'd earn the same, I wouldn't have any boss over me telling me what to do except if I lazy around and I wouldn't have to run as I sometimes do as a nurse. No drama of any kind (I'd be alone most of the time), ample opportunities to sit and read, drink coffee or do nothing while waiting for my next assignment, other opportunities to learn while watching procedures being done to patients.

Yes. It really is this relaxed. I shadowed already.

My old self always though a job is a job and I should aim for maximum income doing the less amount of job I can. I'm also an introvert and enjoy being alone. This second job seems to offer exactly that.

Except that I'd miss learning from the doctors that have shown an interest in teaching me and the adult nurses (the ones not acting like children, the gossips).

I really don't understand myself. I feel I'd be dumbing myself down, but otoh earn the same I do now.

I changed workplaces within my hospital to a similar unit. I also tried applying to other units to see what's there but got rejected.

I quit my old unit because I didn't feel supported or respected by management there, but doctors and half of the nurses are people I can work with and are actually people that helped me become a better nurse. I'm going to miss working with most of them. I'm ready to work with them again.

Managers speak with each other, even if they publicly hate each other and 6 months ago I wasn't as good as I am today, something reflected in their internal memos. I'm on the introvert side and I'm quite sure I'm on the spectrum. I write this because a workplace is also a popularity contest and my old manager was an extrovert who always thought I didn't talk to her to spite her (I didn't talk to her because I wanted to work and she was a perpetual, boring nuisance). People forgive you if you're likable and for this manager I was not. Her favorites always got away doing less and were treated way less harshly than me.

On my last week three coworkers told me separately I'm a good nurse, which surprised me, one even suggested to go to ICU. Nobody told me that at my unit. Ever.

Shifts without management were a bliss: there was nobody there to bully or micromanage me. During these shifts I was more engaged, inquiring about medicines, diagnoses and explaining to patients what their vitals meant, what their medicines did or how they could help the patient to recover more rapidly. Most of the patients and families were not karens and were grateful. I also learned to make a quick exit with the karens.

I'm going into my new unit with this attitude: keep learning, keep asking, ignoring the nurses who try to mob or to ridicule me for asking questions, gray rocking the drama queens and gossips, always telling the charge if a nurse who's supposed to teach me lazies around and wastes my time, to establish boundaries, to stop being a doormat, to ask the doctors to keep learning.

I'm not doing this only for the money, but because I actually like knowing what medicines do, explaining patients what their EKGs mean and how the system works, even if it's broken.

I think, however, some managers will never consider me due to the internal memo this first manager wrote about me and while I have a job, the only way to access better paying positions or ICU is if a manager vouches for you and writes a better memo or even a recommendation.

That’s why I ask if managers see and value if an employee is engaged, even if he has a bad record, is an introvert, is a bit on the spectrum and doesn't want any stupid drama.

I've got a new job as a nurse but I'm still comparing positions, maybe something better comes along.

What I want to say to any of my potential new managers:

one of the reasons I left my old unit is how colleagues give report there: some give report about patients that are no longer there. I just don't get it. Patient is gone, it's not our problem anymore. Who cares where he is now? Give report about the patients I have to provide care to!

Some interrupt report to talk about what they did on the weekend or if the coworker only works 2 times per month, they give report about the 2 weeks they spent not working. It baffles me that they feel offended if I remind them they have to give report and can talk about their private lives when they're done. A report that should last 10 minutes lasts 40. It's tiring and I don't care about their lives.

Others, after giving report, remain in the room to loudly gossip about god knows what in the room... while another nurse tries doing her job and give report. If I remind them I cannot hear report, they feel offended. You do understand it's very difficult to get the information I need to do a good job under this circumstances.

Others interrupt their report to rant in minute detail how they transferred a very heavy patient or how they had to fixate an aggressive one. It's never a short rant, it's always a five minute one where some nurses feel they have to compete and tell an even more egregious story about other obnoxious patient. It's ridiculous. I just don't understand why they cannot move on, get to the point, give report and tell me what meds I have to give him if he has another crisis. I find this very tiring as well.

I really don't want to work with people like that. It's tiring and nursing doesn't have to be. I'd like you to pair me with the nurses who like to do their job, get to the point when they give report and go home with no drama involved. If after this conversation you feel that I'm not going to be a good match, then simply say it so, so neither of us wastes time and I keep looking for a unit with a better work culture.

To me this makes perfect sense: I tell a potential employer what I need to work better while offering him the chance to be upfront and tell me if I'm a good or a bad match.

Any drawbacks?

countries I have in mind are most of the EU, east Asian and south American multiparty democracies, our neighbors Canada and Mexico.

As I see it, these countries share with the US more than with other countries, like African, central Asian or south Asian countries, where liberal democracy and its practice only exists on paper. Up to now, we shared common values like the rule of law, free markets, freedom of the press, political liberalism, atlanticism for our security, our trust in science, institutions and facts... The US was an ally, an indispensable one you might add, even a benign one in some circles.

Now this ally has turned to a bully in an incredibly short period of time: in less than a week trump has started bullying Denmark so they sell Greenland to the US, threatened about taking the Panama channel back, also threatened most of America's trade partners with tariffs if they don't do what he wants, pausing aid to Ukraine, in effect condemning that country to be absorbed by Russia within the next 2 years, he even wants an American flag on Mars... what for?

I don't see why he thinks our trade partners wont also raise their tariffs to our stuff if we do so. What I also don't understand is why he blames the victim (Ukraine) and cozies up to putin. Not even Reagan would have done something like that.

Autocrats in the world are sure having a good time watching our disunity work to their favor.

I wonder what's going to replace the post WW2 and post cold war order, now that liberal democracy is being so successfully attacked from the maga right and people trust more what they read on their ecochamber than what centrist, established media report (I'm not saying that the Washington Post, NPR or the LA Times are neutral, but are more neutral that fox 'news' or 'news'max).

I'm a nurse and I don't do night shifts. The few times I did it I earned a 150% differential but it's not worth the money: I'd go back home and have to use noise cancelling headphones to sleep, 'cause people are loud, I'd wake up rested at 04:00 pm, but completely destroying my circadian rhythm. I'd need a whole day or 2 to recover my regular rhythm because otherwise I'd be a zombie.

I hear my coworkers who do night shift complaining about this same issue, but they still pick up night shifts, which I don't understand.

To me it was impossible to have something akin to a life while working night shift, but I've met some people that only do night shifts: the housewife that only works 4 nights shifts per month, the single mother or young wife or husband who work 14 night shifts per month and have the next 2 weeks for him/herself...

I don't understand why they do it. It's extremely taxing and not worth it imho.

But if you do, how do you have a life? And how do you keep yourself healthy?

Our protagonist is a sex crazed young man who is convinced that the only way he can have sex is if he has a car, so he goes to a dealership to try several models, only to be treated like an idiot by the dealer, who only sells him overpriced crap. At least that's what I get from the movie.

The dealer hits the same child in the head two times in the movie, both times when the dealer finds out the client is so gullible he'll pay anything for a status symbol so he can finally have sex, both times with the child's parents present.

Is this a trope in Japan? Not the buy a status symbol to have x, but hitting a child in the head.