xeddyx

joined 2 years ago
[–] [email protected] 65 points 1 year ago (3 children)

How to spy for China and not get pregnant

🤔

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I don't really remember much from my childhood so that's not really helpful sorry.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I know, I don't know the equivalent term for small kids, you know the high-pitched sing-songy exaggerated tone that people use when they talk to kids (or pets)? I'm saying I can't do that sort of stuff.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

It's pibling, although, not as commonly used as nibling.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I avoid ziplock bags now. I only keep them around now for travel (to store liquids for flying). Otherwise, they only create more waste and generate microplastics during use. You should especially avoid using them to store food due to potential microplastic contamination.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Thanks, but what do I say when I first meet them? I did meet the older older one four years ago, but she may not remember much from that time, and I'd be meeting the youngest one for the first time. They are aware of me in general though so it's not like I'm a total stranger.

Sure, I could ask about their interests and what they did recently recently, but what after that? I'll be living with them for a couple of weeks so I can't ask them the same questions every day. Also I don't want to bombard them with questions either, otherwise it'll seem like an interview. What do I say to them when I run into them the first thing in the morning? Like I can wish them a good morning of course, but what after that? How do I pan out the conversations across day 2, day 3 etc? I don't want to sound like a broken record and repeat the same dialogue every day.

I'm not really good with small talk even with adults btw, but if it's something about my work or hobbies, I can talk for ages - however I can't really do that with the kids though.

 

I'll be going overseas soon to visit and stay with my cousins for a few weeks. I'm fairly close to them and we get along well, so it's not a problem interacting with them, as a generally shy and introverted person. However, I've absolutely no idea how to interact with their kids (3 and 7 years old). I've never been good with kids. I can't make funny faces, speak "goo goo ga ga" nor play with them or entertain them in any fashion. I mean, I could try, but it's just not in my nature, and it'll come across as really fake and forced.

Mind you, I don't hate kids, I just never interacted with them in any sort of extended fashion. I keep my distance from them and don't want nothing to do with kids in general. I don't find kids cute or funny or cuddly or anything of that sort, on the contrary, I find kids annoying and avoid them. I don't care about them to the point that I won't even ring my niblings and wish them a happy birthday, if I wasn't forced to by my family (and I usually try and weasel out of it by coming up with some excuse).

In saying all that, the reason why I'm asking this question is because I don't want them to grow up hating me or thinking of me like I'm that "weird uncle", cause maybe in the future, when I become old, I may have to rely upon them for whatever reasons. Like if I look at myself now, I have a good relationship with my elderly aunts and uncles, and they rely upon me for various things - mostly technical help, but even just in general if I'm ever visiting them I help them out wherever I can. Plus I enjoy conversing with them and learning of their various life experiences. I would like to have a similar amicable relationship with my niblings when I grow old, but I can't help think that I'm pushing them away due to my shy and introverted nature.

And as a reference, I have another cousin who's the exact opposite of me: typical extrovert alpha male type. He treats his niblings as if they were his own kids, like he does the airplane with them, takes them out for treats or other fun outdoor activities etc etc, and actually has conversations with them. I mean, that's all pretty cool I guess, but that's just not me. I do not intend to be like that.

I guess what I'm after is, what's the absolute minimal sort of interaction I can have with them, which won't feel too forced or fake or in-your-face (like definitely no "goo goo ga ga" stuff please), whilst still keeping up appearances and making me come across as a "he's a good uncle I guess, but just a bit quiet and shy" type of person? I've tried having "grown up" style small talk with them (like how's your day going, or stuff about the weather) and obviously that didn't work out too well. So I'd also appreciate stuff that I can talk to them about, like actual dialogues if possible, which won't seem fake or forced coming out of me, a shy and introverted person.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago (2 children)

But were they also not in concrete agreement when you said that you didn't want kids? Or did they only give a vague response? Just curious what was the initial agreement exactly, and how did they changed their stance, because I'm currently on the market myself and I've been pretty upfront that I don't want kids, and it's usually my very first question before I proceed to even ask them about anything else. Those who don't want kids are also generally upfront about it and would agree immediately, whereas others may either give a vague reply or be on the fence, or straight up say they wanted kids - all of which would be an immediate rejection from me. Unless they're in firm agreement, I don't proceed any further with the chat.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I agree with what @carl_dungeon wrote. If you're really that paranoid about your privacy then you shouldn't even use a cellphone in the first place - never mind a smartphone. Look at Richard M Stallman for example - he avoids cellphones completely for this reason.

And that's because there's no fully-open cellphone out there, and even if there is, it doesn't prevent your carrier or government from snooping on you, as long as you're using GSM communications (which is btw very vulnerable). The moment you've decided to carry a cellphone around with you, you've signed away any expectations of privacy.

So you either live the Stallman way and avoid cellphones and other modern conveniences, or just say fuck it and use them like everyone else. Otherwise, you're just a hippocrite, fooling yourself into a false sense of security, because prying open a modern smartphone and checking it's internals is a completely pointless exercise.

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