The Internet in Ancient Times

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Welcome to the stone age... or the bronze age... or the iron age... heck, anything with an 'age' is welcome, except our modern age or any ages to come.

This is about what the internet was like thousands of years ago back when it all started. Like when Darius the Great hired mercenaries via Craigslist or when Egypt invented emojis.

CODE OF LAWS

1 - Be civil. No name calling, no fighting, keep your flint hand axes inside your leather pouches at all times.

2 - Keep the AI stuff to a minimum. It gets annoying and old fashioned memes are more fun for everyone.

3 - None of this newfangled modern 21st century nonsense. We don't even know what "21st century" means.

4 - No porn/explicit content. The king is sensitive about these things.

5 - No lemmy.world TOS violations will be tolerated. So there.

6 - There is no ~~rule~~ law 6.

Laws of justice which Hammurabi, the wise king, established. A righteous law, and pious statute did he teach the land. Hammurabi, the protecting king am I. I have not withdrawn myself from the men, whom Bel gave to me, the rule over whom Marduk gave to me, I was not negligent, but I made them a peaceful abiding-place. I expounded all great difficulties, I made the light shine upon them. With the mighty weapons which Zamama and Ishtar entrusted to me, with the keen vision with which Ea endowed me, with the wisdom that Marduk gave me, I have uprooted the enemy above and below (in north and south), subdued the earth, brought prosperity to the land, guaranteed security to the inhabitants in their homes; a disturber was not permitted. The great gods have called me, I am the salvation-bearing shepherd, whose staff is straight, the good shadow that is spread over my city; on my breast I cherish the inhabitants of the land of Sumer and Akkad; in my shelter I have let them repose in peace; in my deep wisdom have I enclosed them. That the strong might not injure the weak, in order to protect the widows and orphans, I have in Babylon the city where Anu and Bel raise high their head, in E-Sagil, the Temple, whose foundations stand firm as heaven and earth, in order to bespeak justice in the land, to settle all disputes, and heal all injuries, set up these my precious words, written upon my memorial stone, before the image of me, as king of righteousness.

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I know a lot of this is common knowledge but it can be so useful for those of us who:

  • were ostracized by the tribe and raised by wolves
  • parents' sheep flock was too large for them to have time to teach us
  • hit head on a really hard rock and forgot a lot of stuff
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cross-posted from: https://jlai.lu/post/17187098

Hmmm

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As far as I can tell, BETA comes before SIGMA. Still they exalt SIGMA and deride the BETA, whatever that means. They are just letters, as far as I know. Is this a new local sect I have not heard about or did these kids just not learn their ALPHA, BETA, GAMMAS?

I bet the Egyptians never had these problems with their symbols..

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In case any of you have never witnessed the power of the ancient times

https://htck.github.io/bayeux/

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I have tried winding the gears back to starting position but now whenever I try to predict the solstice it is incorrect, causing great embarrassment at the local sect. I bought this because those young men in white robes drawing mystic figures in the sand convinced me it would help me with my predictions, and that it was a lot easier than traditional augury or lining up rocks like the celts do. I call bullshit, what the hell is the problem with traditional birds entrails telling you these things? I spent a goat on this and it isn't working, and I released all the birds because I thought I wouldn't need them anymore and now I am freaking out, if I don't get this right Zeus know what the initiae will do to me.

Anyways, any of you have experience with this issue?

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Zero (lemmynsfw.com)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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Zero (lemmynsfw.com)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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cross-posted from: https://lemm.ee/post/55563265

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Like, my servants have started bringing the lead shavings when I ask for the wine. I know I shouldn't overindulge, but I just can't get the wine down without it.

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I keep hearing excuses like "but your highness the entire crop was destroyed and we're starving" or "but my lord I'm dying of the plague". Like ok? That sounds like a you problem. Someone has to do all the work around here and that someone's not going to be me.

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They want to take out the comedy and tragedy contests as well. What are we supposed to watch in the amphitheatre?

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cross-posted from: https://slrpnk.net/post/18212134

My kids bored out of their minds with a house full of toys, don't know how good they got it

Lil Nabû-zēr-kitti-lišir woulda killed for better toys

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