this post was submitted on 19 Jan 2025
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[Migrated, see pinned post] Casual Conversation

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Valentine's...

Another memo about my failure as an adult. At the warehouse I'm working lots of the package and merch are hearts, plushies, and similar heart shaped stuff, plus some Xmas decorations for some fucking reason...

Is there any way to escape it? I guess not. I probably wouldn't think too much about it if I was younger but since last week was my bday ready to remind me that I'm getting old... This back to back just crushes me.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago (4 children)

In my younger life there was an older man who I spoke with quite a bit, an acquaintance

He spent about 5 years married to his first wife, who died.

He spent the next 30 years in relationships constantly pining over what could have been, never satisfied

Finally he turned 60 and his 4th wife got sick of him and divorced him

He was sad and lonely for 15 years after that, constantly sad about what could have been with his last wife, lost and not understanding why she left.

He's married again now, at 75, and still talks about his prior wife.

Contentment is not found in relationships, it comes from within, and bubbles up to whatever situation you find yourself in. Don't fall for the lie that you are a failure without a significant other.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Call me crazy, but I more than understand why someone would have permanent difficulty moving on from having someone closest to you die.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Sure, don't feel too bad for him though, he did abuse her and his kids

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

An abusive man who's constantly fishing for sympathy? Hmm...

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago
[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (3 children)

But I am. I've never met ANYONE. No kiddie romance, no middle school crush or first girlfriend, no sex life, nothing. That dude is going to die but at least his life had a meaning and fulfilled his purpose. He can complain all he wants, he did his "thing" married, got kids and so on...

I'm zero on that.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

Friend, I'm sorry to hear you are going through that. I have no advice because I don't even know what that would be like.

I've always had some sort of girlfriend in my life since middle school. BUT there are many times I shouldn't have had one because some were just emotionally draining toxic people. But I always coupled up rather than went solo. I don't know if it was out of habit or what. I just always was in a relationship.

My current gf wants to get married, but I'm hesitating. I actually wanna go solo for a bit, so just know that being in a relationship doesn't solve everything.

Hope things work out for ya, mate!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I think you accidentally a huge Freudian slip on your second sentence.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

I don't see it. Even before the correction

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Do you desire to have those things or do you want to leave an impact on the world? If you don't actually desire to have romantic/sexual relationships with other humans that's fine and no matter how much importance allo people assign them you shouldn't feel like you need them.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

I desire physical passion and the rest.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

I'm tired so to me that sounded like you were acquaintances for 60 years in your younger life, leading me to believe you were an elf or something. Then I remembered that this was real life...

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

Really elegantly said