this post was submitted on 19 Jan 2025
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[Migrated, see pinned post] Casual Conversation
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In my younger life there was an older man who I spoke with quite a bit, an acquaintance
He spent about 5 years married to his first wife, who died.
He spent the next 30 years in relationships constantly pining over what could have been, never satisfied
Finally he turned 60 and his 4th wife got sick of him and divorced him
He was sad and lonely for 15 years after that, constantly sad about what could have been with his last wife, lost and not understanding why she left.
He's married again now, at 75, and still talks about his prior wife.
Contentment is not found in relationships, it comes from within, and bubbles up to whatever situation you find yourself in. Don't fall for the lie that you are a failure without a significant other.
Call me crazy, but I more than understand why someone would have permanent difficulty moving on from having someone closest to you die.
Sure, don't feel too bad for him though, he did abuse her and his kids
An abusive man who's constantly fishing for sympathy? Hmm...
Yikes...
But I am. I've never met ANYONE. No kiddie romance, no middle school crush or first girlfriend, no sex life, nothing. That dude is going to die but at least his life had a meaning and fulfilled his purpose. He can complain all he wants, he did his "thing" married, got kids and so on...
I'm zero on that.
Friend, I'm sorry to hear you are going through that. I have no advice because I don't even know what that would be like.
I've always had some sort of girlfriend in my life since middle school. BUT there are many times I shouldn't have had one because some were just emotionally draining toxic people. But I always coupled up rather than went solo. I don't know if it was out of habit or what. I just always was in a relationship.
My current gf wants to get married, but I'm hesitating. I actually wanna go solo for a bit, so just know that being in a relationship doesn't solve everything.
Hope things work out for ya, mate!
I think you accidentally a huge Freudian slip on your second sentence.
I don't see it. Even before the correction
Do you desire to have those things or do you want to leave an impact on the world? If you don't actually desire to have romantic/sexual relationships with other humans that's fine and no matter how much importance allo people assign them you shouldn't feel like you need them.
I desire physical passion and the rest.
I'm tired so to me that sounded like you were acquaintances for 60 years in your younger life, leading me to believe you were an elf or something. Then I remembered that this was real life...
Really elegantly said