this post was submitted on 28 May 2025
456 points (100.0% liked)
Autism
7859 readers
515 users here now
A community for respectful discussion and memes related to autism acceptance. All neurotypes are welcome.
Community:
Values
- Acceptance
- Openness
- Understanding
- Equality
- Reciprocity
- Mutuality
- Love
Rules
- No abusive, derogatory, or offensive post/comments e.g: racism, sexism, religious hatred, homophobia, gatekeeping, trolling.
- Posts must be related to autism, off-topic discussions happen in the matrix chat.
- Your posts must include a text body. It doesn't have to be long, it just needs to be descriptive.
- Do not request donations.
- Be respectful in discussions.
- Do not post misinformation.
- Mark NSFW content accordingly.
- Do not promote Autism Speaks.
- General Lemmy World rules.
Encouraged
- Open acceptance of all autism levels as a respectable neurotype.
- Funny memes.
- Respectful venting.
- Describe posts of pictures/memes using text in the body for our visually impaired users.
- Welcoming and accepting attitudes.
- Questions regarding autism.
- Questions on confusing situations.
- Seeking and sharing support.
- Engagement in our community's values.
- Expressing a difference of opinion without directly insulting another user.
- Please report questionable posts and let the mods deal with it. Chat Room
- We have a chat room! Want to engage in dialogue? Come join us at the community's Matrix Chat.
.
Helpful Resources
- Are you seeking education, support groups, and more? Take a look at our list of helpful resources.
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
As an adult with both autism and ADHD, I partially disagree. Sometimes I really did need beating around the head with a proper, coherent structure.
I've slowly learnt to do this myself, but it took a long time to learn.
What is critical is getting a say in the structure. It's also worth noting that what is critical can be very different to someone with autism. E.g. to an NT, wearing pants, to leave the house is critical. To an autistic person, the colour of them can feel even more important (or completely irrelevant, depending on the aspie). Both must be included in that structure planning.
I think the choice bit in the OP is key. Having someone swoop in to impose structure, no. Having someone help you create structure, yes, and that seems to be what OP is saying.
My point is that I fought that structure, tooth and nail. It took a long time for me to realise that I needed it. Choices help, but some rules need to be laid down, whether wanted or not.
So in your case the offered/imposed format of structure ended up working.
Yeah, plenty of AuDHD have some form of pathological demand avoidance, and the demand they accept presented structure will likely be rejected.
So the person you’re responding to isn’t wrong. Structure is necessary, but it needs to be one you can accept, either offered or self-imposed.