this post was submitted on 07 May 2024
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Embarrassing someone for not knowing something is stupid.
It's critical thinking. In life, it's not always about knowing but about understanding.
It's also about having thick skin and the ability to take a joke. Nobody is hurt, it is funny when you think about it, and it will encourage you to think about things in the future.
I do not need to know turn signals don't require blinker fluid. Because it's a fuckin light bulb.
The people in this comments section are acting like this is somehow traumatic. How fucking sheltered are you people?
Yeah it’s often done a bit to get you used to the environment which includes joking, but it’s also to make you think before you do.
We told the dumbass that worked with us at Wal-Mart he needed to fill up the water fountain. He made 3 trips to the hose and back with one of those big Gatorade coolers dumping it down the drain on the fountain before someone asked him what he was doing. It was hilarious. If it wasn't for the entertainment value he provided I would have hated that guy for all the problems he caused being an idiot.
To understand something (critically think) you need to know the information. So it boils down to embarrassing someone for not knowing things. There is too much in life to know absolutely everything, thus my example of the kid embarrassing the parent for some tech thing they don't know.
The parent is supposed to teach the child that information. Not mock and embarrass them for not already knowing it.
Yeah. In this case you'd need to know that paint is a liquid, and comes in a can. Is it logical that paint is going to come in stripes? How would that be applied to a brush? How would that be applied to a wall?
If you take 2 seconds to think you realize this is a nonsensical request.
If you think everything in this world needs to be explained to you, you aren't going to get very far. Also an important lesson to learn.
Learning to use a software interface, or the intricacies of how a thing works is not necessarily dependant on critical thinking. Understanding that a light bulb is not powered by blinker fluid, or that a liquid paint could not possibly be sold and applied to a wall in stripes is dependent on critical thinking.
Idk, they do have peanut butter and jelly in the same jar!
I would imagine the paint is just somehow not mixed. But the horizontal and vertical throws me off because it can obviously be both
Well, clearly the kid in this story was able to figure it out.
People who think they know everything don't ask questions. Asking questions is part of critical thinking.
Guess who think they know everything?
Who asks questions? The ones that feel safe asking them.
The ones that get set up and embarrassed? They learn to never ask anything because they'll get laughed at.
These types of light hazing are actually trying to lower the stakes. The greybeards get to tell the stories of when they were young and dumb going on snipe hunts. we all make mistakes, developing the ability to laugh at YOURSELF is important. Its an inoculation against embarrassment. If someone is so prideful that they cant stand to ever be wrong, when the make a mistake that matters, they will try to hide it and that is when things go from bad to worse.
They will hide mistakes when mistakes are not accepted. When they will be punished or laughed at for making mistakes. So which parent will kids trust? The one that sets them up to be embarrassed? Or the one that is safe to approach?
There are plenty of mistakes in life, you really don't need to set up your kids to make even more. All you're teaching your kid is that they can't trust you, to whatever degree.
I need you to hold this spark plug wire for me for a second.
JFC. You're minimizing actual abuse and trauma.
This, it's the taking it to extremes that's making people down vote.
There's a large difference between some light ribbing with friends/family and someone being an abusive ass.
I have a good friend who can be very easily triggered by any sort of joke that could potentially be taken as an insult. I am very sure it's because his parents and older siblings were assholes to him growing up, but also partially he hasn't seemingly grown/learned to not take himself so seriously all the time.
Here's an example of a funny situation that he had extremely negative reaction to, we were having a daily short meeting where we clap at the end as a group (like 12 or so people total) and he walks up right at the end of the meeting and says, "I came just in time to catch the clap." Laughter ensues. Feelings are hurt and I then spent my lunch break talking him down from his anger/resentment for the group members and explaining how while yes it's sorta on him because of his poor wording, it was legit funny and people laughing about it isn't an insult, he could have laughed along when he realized what he said.
The problem was two fold, he didn't understand why it was funny, and he thought people were laughing AT him. Was it ABUSIVE HAZING? not at all
You're getting down voted but you're not wrong. This was me until high-school. Luckily I had a couple really good teachers who always said there was no such thing as a stupid question as long as you're asking genuinely and backed it up by giving genuine answers even in unrelated topics. Helped me grow confident and love to learn. I was never a dumb student just had a lot of anxieties and self esteem issues.
I understand a bit of chiding and light hazing can also help but it should never be overly mean and it shouldn't be a blanket technique. Some people just work differently.
Just someone with life experience 🤷♂️
And honestly I'm just amazed at how thin skinned people are that they're labeling a harmless joke as traumatizing. If you really need everything in life explained to you, expect to not get very far.
And nowhere in there did you touch on how sending a kid to the store for striped paint could somehow cause trauma, rather than teach a valuable lesson about gullibility, critical thinking, and being able to laugh at one's self.
Not everything in this world is as serious as escaping a country to avoid punishment or death for who you are. Having the emotional intelligence to differentiate between the serious and light hearted is something a person should develop when they're young or life will be much harder for them.
It's a very good motivator for critical thinking though.
It really isn't. Think about a kid embarrassing their parent over some tech thing they don't know.
*Taking from my other reply:
To understand something (think critically) you need to know the information. So it boils down to embarrassing someone for not knowing things. There is too much in life to know absolutely everything, thus my example on tech.
The parent is supposed to teach the child that information. Not mock and embarrass them for not already knowing it.
We know that, through much study, it really isn’t. And the negatives outweigh the positives especially compared to other methods. It’s a trauma response more than anything at that point and if it does work they probably just used those skills to realize what an asshole the shamer was/is.
Jesus Christ not every god damn thing is a form of "trauma"
You and another person can experience the exact same things and one can be traumatized while the other is not. Telling your children lies can be traumatic no matter what the context is, because it teaches the kid not to believe what you say is true or to expect fuckery, a bit like the crying wolf thing.
Am I traumatizing my children telling them about Santa?
Personally I'm good with my children being suspicious of me. Don't trust me blindly just because I'm an authority, trust me because you know me and my motivations.
Love when everyone on the internet turns into a developmental psychologist because of some ribbing.
I’ve been bullied, beaten, hell I’ve watched people die. Those are traumatic.
Being asked to find a thing that doesn’t exist is not traumatic. It might be a little mean, but it does teach a lesson to use your head when you’re working on projects.
And you’d really need more context then a single blog post to tell. The occasional joke isn’t going to traumatize anyone.
JFC. How will the child ever recover from a joke they figured out in the middle! Poor kid is probably still in therapy 31 years later! Just their life completely ruined by realizing a can of paint can't come in two different colors. I think the dad should be in jail to this day for such heartless abuse.
Good lord, of this is your definition of trauma, you've had an incredible life
I’m not here to play olympics with people who struggle to empathize with others. I’m sorry awful things have happened to you, that doesn’t give you any right to invalidate someone else’s pain.
I would never dare do that to my child because my parents never did such a thing with me so it feels so disrespectful.
E: Guess I'm back with the unpopular opinion again. I'm not telling you what you should do, I'm telling you what I wouldn't do. But please, feel free to disrespect your children however you see fit. 🤭
E2: ITT people who think that respecting their children is special treatment that needs to be treated by a professional. My condolences to their childhoods and their crotch goblins. The quality of responses is quite telling. Take your traumas out on me, it's ok.
How's the view atop that high horse?
Please don't tease. His parents never teased him growing up, so he finds it very disrespectful.
You gotta get those trust issues started early!
I could see how sending a kid to the store might be a bit too far, but aside from that it's just harmless teasing. Nothing more than a mild practical joke.
Kids can handle jokes. It's important to learn to laugh at yourself and not take everything seriously. Otherwise you just end up being boring and stuck up.
How is it too far? At worst the kid got a bit of exercise.
It's something a lot of building companies are trying to fight because it creates a toxic workplace where people are scared to look foolish so don't ask questions, they did studies and it's related to higher levels of workplace accidents and expenditures.
I'm sure plenty of people will jump in to say that it separates men from boys or the normal excuses for bullying.
I don’t disagree, but there are variations in how these go. This one here aounds like a friendly, good-natured way to teach a younger mind not to believe everything they hear
I think there is an important lesson here though. It's not really about not knowing but not thinking. An inquisitive nature is hard to instill, jokes/games/play are ways humans communicate these abstract processes.
Holy shit Lemmy is fragile