this post was submitted on 01 Jan 2025
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Unpopular opinion: Last names are inherently patriarchal and so is marriage
Yeah I've always thought it was weird that women are supposed to give up their identity to a man to be married. I'm not really sure why hyphenated names aren't as popular in the western world or why people don't occasionally chose to take the woman's name. I know that women don't have to change their names, but then often you'll have the kids as the same name as the father anyway but not the mother. So I've heard many women say that they did it so their kids would share their last name.
Hell, I don't even like my father. But my name is who I am and I like it.
with hyphenated names: what would the children do then? you can't keep adding more and more names like that (both practically and legally in some cases). serious question because I've also thought about that
I think it varies with culture, but from my understanding, usually they take the first name of the two hyphens for their own marriage.
So you have John Doe and Jane Smith. They hyphenate their names as Doe-Smith and the children do as well.
Say they have a daughter Sally Doe-Smith who meets Tim Johnson-Star. So they marry and hyphenate their names as Johnson-Doe. Both Smith and Star get dropped.
Yes, in examples like this, it still ends up as getting rid of the maternal aspect of the lineage in the very end...but the point is still that both parties are keeping part of and changing another part of their names. It's not an all or nothing total switch of identity. The lineage is male, but the here and now is an equal compromise of identity.
Not enough to balance things out
Maybe not quite, but iml it's certainly leaps and bounds better that altering your identity entirely in submission of a partner.
You clearly haven't met Brazilians
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Name_blending
In Canada, you legally pick up to 2 of your parents' last names for your last name
My name is Maximus Decimus Arnold Garfield Butcher Smith Hendrickson Meridius, and you shall have my name.
The way that I'm gonna do it is whoever has the coolest/most unique last name is the one whose name is adopted. If they're both equally cool, then hyphenated it is.
It is weird because we as a civilization believe women are persons and corporations are not. And sooner or later, Molotovs will be thrown in support of this notion, since silence is being interpreted as consent.
Whoops. That was my outside voice.🪀🪀💣🪀
Sorry I'm not understanding what you mean
The reason women take their husband's name is because they're property, and rights to their person transfers from their father to their husband.
That's it.
And right now (at least in the States, maybe in some parts of Europe) there are large far-right movements trying to return society to those days.
Find your crew or your fam, and have them give you your given name. Then choose your surname. Break free.
Ah ok yeah your first comment was sarcastic then haha
How do hyphenated names work after the next generation? Seems like that would get out of hand quickly when people with hyphenated last names start having kids with each other.
Hyphenated names are too long. One of my good friends has one and people just refer to him and his siblings by the initials of their last name, like "Tim MP"
On Spain we have two last names, one for the father other for the mother.
And while before the father's was always the first, since many years couples of newborn babies can choose the order of the surnames.
Unpopular opinion: Patriarchy as defined by feminists is a nebulous and unfalsifiable concept that can be replaced by "the devil" without changing the meaning of the sentence it's used in.
Also, serious posting in a shitposting thread.
yep and it’s good that opinion stays unpopular
you could swap the subject of criticism with "the devil" in any sentence and it would be the same though?
"the devil (covid-19) caused a pandemic"
"the devil (billionaires) is pushing more people into poverty"
"the devil (adhd) is making me procrastinate doing the dishes"
"the devil (you) has really weak criticisms of feminism, since if only he read about it, he'd realise he can see and feel the effects of the patriarchy everywhere. and the way he talks right now makes me believe he only knows the concept from strawman memes"
“i refuse to listen to what feminists say, and because of that i have no concept of their actual positions and it’s all really nebulous and confusing to me” —that user
(edit: by “that user” i mean @rooty, if that wasn’t clear? @[email protected] you are totally correct)
Which feminists are you even referring to exactly? There are different waves of feminism and different strands (like liberal feminism, marxist feminism, black feminism, ...). Either you picked a few straw(wo)men who have a shitty definition or you are confused by the variety of definitions and approaches and that confuses you.
my comment was about @rooty who said “Patriarchy as defined by feminists is a nebulous and unfalsifiable concept” not you or anyone else. because of course, people who actually read any wave or subsect of feminism will immediately find feminists have a whole host of concrete and evidenced conceptions of the term patriarchy.
i was seeking to laugh at @rooty who has clearly never done any work to listen to any feminist and gets all their undestanding of it from straw man memes.
it seems people like yourself are misunderstanding my language to mean the opposite, sorry for any confusion.
I donno but this sounds like something the devil would say
Why would that be the case? How would marriage between two equals in a non-patriarchy be patriarchal? What about marriage between two women? What about last names in a society of beings without gender?
I think you didnt mean 'inherently'
is that an unpopular opinion, or just a well-known fact?
the patriarchy doesn’t benefit the male. in fact, most men are overall harmed by the forces of patriarchy.
the goal of patriarchy is to subjugate and repress an “other,” that is, women. it’s true that patriarchy gives privelege to men, but equating privilege and benefit is to misunderstand the core components of the system.
An aspect of patriarchy is patrilineality. Belonging to your fathers lineage rather than your mother's or even being stripped of your heritage and being a mere adjunct to your husband isn't materially benefiting the man but lays the ground for that