this post was submitted on 07 Apr 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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[–] Shieldtoad@sh.itjust.works 103 points 1 year ago
[–] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 92 points 1 year ago (6 children)

Can't. My phone keeps reorienting.

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 60 points 1 year ago

Can't even trust your phone these days smh my head

[–] PhoreTwunny@lemmy.world 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You just gotta lay it flat on a table, then spin it.

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 26 points 1 year ago

Beyblade style!

[–] badbrainstorm@lemmy.today 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If android just turn off auto-rotate in drop down menu

[–] RandomVideos@programming.dev 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

At last! I knew that inversion table I bought four years ago and used three times was going to be good for something.

[–] EffortlessEffluvium@lemm.ee 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Not mine, it’s Occidental.

[–] Katana314@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

Tell it that, while you “support” its decisions, funding its college education will be contingent on finding a spouse to have a baby with.

Follow me for more toxic phone-parenting tips.

[–] DaCrazyJamez@sh.itjust.works 47 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Oooohhhh shiiit. Took a solid minute to see it but daaamn

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 30 points 1 year ago (3 children)
[–] yemmly@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago

We both just lost it.

[–] tpihkal@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago (2 children)

How long since you last lost? 😁

[–] tpihkal@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Probably a month or so, surprisingly, Lemmy has reminded me several times now.

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

It had actually been years for me until I sacrificed my streak to annoy you guys 😁

[–] fushuan@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago
[–] shneancy@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)
[–] GladiusB@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

I can't believe they did them like that

[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 45 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 39 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

This post reminds me of one of my favourite Anthony Jeselnik jokes:

My dad did not fuck around. My dad did not trust anybody. My dad did not trust anyone. In fact, he had a saying… but he wouldn’t tell me.

[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This didn't trick me.

Apropos of nothing in particular, I'm going to go make a coffee.

[–] Aurenkin@sh.itjust.works 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 35 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I made this with AI to support my deception

[–] 9point6@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I don't believe you, this is clearly a real coffee

[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You can't put your finger in coffee for real, it would burn. This is AI.

[–] 9point6@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I'll concede the finger might be artificial, but that's a real coffee.

[–] Skalix@feddit.de 6 points 1 year ago

Ceci n'est pas un café

Hmmm. But is moka pot real espresso? If I swizzle hot milk with an IKEA toy, is it real froth? My morning cappuccino sits on a throne of lies.

[–] Diurnambule@jlai.lu 19 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Seems like the shame could be on you

[–] Diurnambule@jlai.lu 1 points 1 year ago

Doesn't it say, got me one time shame on you, got me two time shame one me ?

[–] hydroptic@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 year ago

Yeah the shame's definitely on you

[–] niktemadur@lemmy.world 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

How to gain someone's trust:
Say "never trust anyone".

[–] johsny@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago
[–] Alsjemenou@lemy.nl 8 points 1 year ago
[–] felykiosa@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 year ago

I turned my phone on the si de ans IT DID SOMETHING because I use sync .

[–] shasta@lemm.ee 5 points 1 year ago

There's no trust involved here.

[–] PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago

Is this loss?

Almost had me there

[–] therealjcdenton@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 year ago