this post was submitted on 07 Apr 2024
382 points (100.0% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

33229 readers
3708 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
all 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 103 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 92 points 1 year ago (6 children)

Can't. My phone keeps reorienting.

[–] [email protected] 60 points 1 year ago

Can't even trust your phone these days smh my head

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You just gotta lay it flat on a table, then spin it.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago

Beyblade style!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If android just turn off auto-rotate in drop down menu

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

At last! I knew that inversion table I bought four years ago and used three times was going to be good for something.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Not mine, it’s Occidental.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Tell it that, while you “support” its decisions, funding its college education will be contingent on finding a spouse to have a baby with.

Follow me for more toxic phone-parenting tips.

[–] [email protected] 47 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Oooohhhh shiiit. Took a solid minute to see it but daaamn

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 year ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

We both just lost it.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (2 children)

How long since you last lost? 😁

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Probably a month or so, surprisingly, Lemmy has reminded me several times now.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

It had actually been years for me until I sacrificed my streak to annoy you guys 😁

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

I can't believe they did them like that

[–] [email protected] 45 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

This post reminds me of one of my favourite Anthony Jeselnik jokes:

My dad did not fuck around. My dad did not trust anybody. My dad did not trust anyone. In fact, he had a saying… but he wouldn’t tell me.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This didn't trick me.

Apropos of nothing in particular, I'm going to go make a coffee.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I made this with AI to support my deception

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I don't believe you, this is clearly a real coffee

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You can't put your finger in coffee for real, it would burn. This is AI.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I'll concede the finger might be artificial, but that's a real coffee.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Ceci n'est pas un café

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Hmmm. But is moka pot real espresso? If I swizzle hot milk with an IKEA toy, is it real froth? My morning cappuccino sits on a throne of lies.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Seems like the shame could be on you

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Doesn't it say, got me one time shame on you, got me two time shame one me ?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Yeah the shame's definitely on you

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

How to gain someone's trust:
Say "never trust anyone".

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

I turned my phone on the si de ans IT DID SOMETHING because I use sync .

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

There's no trust involved here.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Is this loss?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Almost had me there

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago