this post was submitted on 14 Apr 2024
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cross-posted from: https://jlai.lu/post/6002282

He revealed the secrets !

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[–] [email protected] 204 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Aren’t IT people just janitors that tell you to turn it off and back on again?

[–] [email protected] 144 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I've been an actual janitor and a sysadmin... they're not dissimilar. You clean up other people's shit for a living.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)

So do I but with exception of the unfortunate cp that calls for bleaching eyes (and security) one is more sanitary than the other…

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago (3 children)

I hope you work with the public, sounds like a weird organization

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[–] [email protected] 121 points 11 months ago (8 children)

It's mind bending that there are actual humans on the planet, paid a shit tonne more than software developers, who not only believe the parody highlighted by @SwiftOnSecutity, but treat and share it as gospel, acting on it with nutjob metrics to "increase productivity" whilst salivating over the hyperbole around "AI" that is sweeping the globe, dreaming of a better world.

One without those pesky developers with their brains, thoughts and opinions.

But, what do I know, I've been in this profession for only 40 years..

[–] [email protected] 58 points 11 months ago (3 children)

You're probably not the biggest asshole in the room. In my experience, the person making decisions (and the most money) is never the most qualified, most competent, most efficient, or hardest working individual. They are just the biggest asshole in the room. They're willing to be loud and belligerently wrong, they're willing to take credit for the accomplishments of others, they're willing to shift blame onto someone else, they're willing to demand everyone else work harder than they do, and they're willing to demand far more than their fair share of the profit.

And they will be mollified by the rest because nobody is a bigger asshole. Most people just want to do their jobs, and don't want to rock the boat. Competent people see opportunity to ride in the wake of the biggest asshole in the room.

If you ever watch Shark Tank, you'll see they are masters of the craft.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 11 months ago

They are just the biggest asshole in the room.

So one day the different body parts were arguing over who should be in charge.

The eyes said they should be in charge, because they were the primary source of information about the world.

The stomach said it should be in charge because digestion was the source of energy.

The brain said it should be in charge because it was in charge of information processing and decision-making.

The rectum said nothing, just closed up shop.

Before long, the vision was blurry, the stomach was queasy, and the brain was foggy.

Assholes have been in charge ever since.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)

The problem is that most of us have swallowed the 'competence uber alles' ideal that school fed us through exams and scoring, when the game really is mostly politics (as in interpersonal relationships). So we are understandably disappointed when the incompetent get promoted through brown nosing or luck, when we should be reevaluating the rules of the game.

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[–] [email protected] 88 points 11 months ago (7 children)

Wait till they find out what software 'architects' really do.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

They do the same thing building architects do. They draw pretty pictures of the end product that may of may not be structurally sound, then rely on engineers to build it and make sure it doesn't collapse.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Wait, did you find out? Can you tell us?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 months ago

Sorry, I don't have enough certifications to answer that question.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I always saw architects roles in modern development being the person trying to find synergies between different teams andcoordinateing them working with each other.

Like if some team makes a sick project for managing streams of data streams the architect should be promoting it for other teams to leverage.

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[–] [email protected] 53 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Wait until this guy finds out that Elon doesn't actually build the cars

[–] [email protected] 40 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Or contribute to society at all really

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Seriously. If Elon shut down Tesla tomorrow all these engineers would be building electric cars at other companies.

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[–] [email protected] 39 points 11 months ago (1 children)

This the dangerous kind of parody, I would rather help people with excel programs than another access program and that's a pain in the ass.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago

I draw the line at CSV ingestion.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 11 months ago

Turns out the people in IT don't actually make the computers either. Who'd have thought?

[–] [email protected] 29 points 11 months ago

The only problem you can't solve with Access is too much Access.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 11 months ago (1 children)

The IT people! The DEV team’s worst nemesis! They must be stopped before we are destroyed!

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Reboots your server

Changes your credentials

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago

Eats your pasta

[–] [email protected] 23 points 11 months ago

As an aside, I recall the early days when @SwiftOnSecurity was purposely ambiguous about the distinction between the artist Taylor Swift and their technology tweets. It was delicious to see confused responses.

At some point it changed. Not sure what triggered that. I have a vague memory of a stroke, but I might be misremembering.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 11 months ago

Hey dude stop it spreading it okay?

[–] [email protected] 20 points 11 months ago

The scary thing is some people actually believe this, and NIH syndrome is unfortunately all too real lol

[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 months ago (7 children)

Is Microsoft Access what they call Microsoft Excel nowadays?

[–] [email protected] 28 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

No its microsofts database GUI program that's part of Microsoft Office . imagine software made for users who have a vague understanding of SQL and visual basic but then an exec. forced the designers and devs to make it accessible to everyone while giving them barely any teamembers causing a fuckton of technical debt and unintuitive quirks , making anyone who opens the software feel like they have just been placed in a highly equipped tank , in front of a wall of unlabeled levers and told to drive the tank , or at least that's how I view it.

(reposting from another account sorry if you see both comments)

[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 months ago

No its another program, I've seen people make weird stuff with it like ticketing systems and notes apps. I've never seen it be a robust program though

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 months ago

Ok bud, yeah right, Delete that. Delete that RIGHT NOW.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago

We've been spending decades curating our perception by management in order to make sure we all have jobs. He's gonna ruin the whole industry if we don't shut him the hell up

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago

Ok, the jig is up. We are exposed. Better pack our bags and get out while we can.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago (5 children)

hahaha, this reminds me of certain politicians...

Where they say the quiet part out loud, while most people will ignore it and the status quo continues as is.

We don't want the Silicon Valley bubble to imploding, right?

p.s. would burst be a better word than imploding? word of the day...

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago (1 children)

If your seriously into Access you might be a SQL dev...

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago

I prefer my databases in Excel. /s

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago (3 children)

As a programmer, I concur. I sit on my arse all day pushing keys , anybody can do that.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 11 months ago

The biggest thing he got wrong is the assumption that it's good programmers writing libraries.

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