this post was submitted on 26 Apr 2024
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[–] groucho@lemmy.sdf.org 45 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

This reminds me of the time my group played a kobold campaign. We found a halfling scout and dealt with him. Then we made an improvised catapult and launched his corpse into the middle of his camp. And then we snuck in and wiped the rest of the halfling party while they were trying to figure out what was happening.

One of the guys in our party put skills in cooking and rolled a nat 20 making halfling jerky. A few sessions later a wizard or whatever granted us a wish, and we wished for our supply of nat 20 halfling jerky to never run out.

So now we're rolling around the countryside raising hell and handing out halfling jerky to everyone because it is now the most powerful diplomatic tool in our arsenal. We never told anyone what it was made out of and pretty much any NPC who didn't want to kill us on sight got a piece.

I don't remember what happened to the party. I think our GM gave up in disgust after a while. Good times.

[–] Dagnet@lemmy.world 32 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Remembers kids, if you cast regeneration on a goblin you can keep cutting its ears for a higher reward when you turn in your quest

[–] GFGJewbacca@lemm.ee 30 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

"Shortly before the Patrician came to power there was a terrible plague of rats. The city council countered it by offering twenty pence for every rat tail. This did, for a week or two, reduce the number of rats—and then people were suddenly queueing up with tails, the city treasury was being drained, and no one seemed to be doing much work. And there still seemed to be a lot of rats around. Lord Vetinari had listened carefully while the problem was explained, and had solved the thing with one memorable phrase which said a lot about him, about the folly of bounty offers, and about the natural instinct of Ankh-Morporkians in any situation involving money: “Tax the rat farms.”

-from "Soul Music" by Terry Pratchett

[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 11 months ago

Funny, this is actually based off of real life (or a real legend, anyway, not sure). This (at least supposedly) happened in India, and when the king stopped paying for dead cobras the farmers pivoted and that's where snake charmers came from!

[–] exocrinous@startrek.website 4 points 11 months ago

GNU Terry Pratchett

[–] nul9o9@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

A sort of Cobra Effect of the Fantasy World?

[–] lord_ryvan@ttrpg.network 1 points 10 months ago

That's if you breed them 😃

[–] PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee 22 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Barbarian, stops eating, narrows eyes at cuisine bard, eyes what they're eating, slowly begins eating again

[–] PugJesus@kbin.social 13 points 11 months ago

"Mind if I have a bite? Always wondered."

[–] NakariLexfortaine@lemm.ee 8 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Hey, using a RoReg is better than the... Usual manner.

Plenty of times it's better not to ask what's in the stew with a Lizardfolk. You'll sleep better.

Just, uh... Watch for the shakes, yeah?

[–] PugJesus@kbin.social 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 11 months ago
[–] recursive_recursion@programming.dev 6 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)
[–] umbrella@lemmy.ml 6 points 11 months ago

thats some pretty hardcore looking food right there

[–] CaptainBlagbird@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)
[–] MalReynolds@slrpnk.net 2 points 11 months ago

Would not those laws prevent chewing your nails?

[–] renormalizer@feddit.de 1 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)