this post was submitted on 27 May 2024
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[–] [email protected] 63 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Does that mean he'll be the first person to be officially #blessed?

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago

He's already #blessed since 2020, by the catholic church. That's a precondition to becoming a saint.

[–] [email protected] 60 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

He'll quite possibly be the first Saint to have the porn stash on his hard drive or phone thoroughly reviewed and analyzed by theology students.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Soon hundreds of churches will claim to have a genuine fragment of his fidget spinner.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

And be cured of diseases after reading his old Myspace account

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Behold this sacred relic! It's his old samsung S5!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Turns out 700 years later it was fraud sold to them by a traveling grifter, as every monestary in the area has the same samgung S5.

[–] [email protected] 54 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Although Acutis’ parents were not religious, the young boy’s faith was nurtured by his Polish nanny

we're sorry

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Wait. What was she polishing?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

Awwww…🥺

[–] [email protected] 42 points 1 year ago (1 children)

What a load of utter bullshit xD

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

But is it any more bullshit than any other saint? I don't think it is.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

In a sense, yes. All those other fuckers are a distant past when people were dumber and the Catholic church was a global political power.

At least to me it's more acceptable that they did it to maintain control over a whole continent, that's human behaviour and perfectly understandable, even if shitty. But this here is worse because there's no other reason than people truly believing in it.

I'm kinda afraid when I'm surrounded by psychos whose imaginary all-powerful friend tells them what to do and who believe a random dead dude did a miracle.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

At a quick, manual count the roman catholic church has canonized about 40 new saints since 2000. Not all those other fuckers are in the distant past ;-)

I hear you, but I still think that the idea of the church and saints hasn't gotten any worse: it's "just" that the rest of the world has moved on when they haven't (which is basically their founding principle).

Or put differently: saints haven't gotten stupider, but our standards have changed.

Edit: I have to put my own point into relation: the only saints that actually lived in the 21st century from that list seem to be a pope and 21 IS beheading victims, so yeah, even among those recently canonized saints a huge chunk has bean dead for 100+ years.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

I still think that the idea of the church and saints hasn't gotten any worse: it's "just" that the rest of the world has moved on when they haven't

That's a very common way of an idea becoming worse: insisting on the same old delusion as the rest of the world moves on.

Example: A geocentric universe didn't seem like such a stupid idea a millennium or two ago, but nowadays where we know better, it's known to be absolute nonsense that only the blindest fundamentalist honestly believes.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 year ago (1 children)

According to tradition, Saint Bartholomew was flayed alive and then beheaded.

I'm just saying, saint standards have dropped.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Traditionally you had to wait like a century as well.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I guess the tech bro mantra of "move fast and break things" has reached the Vatican?

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Cringe. Imagine being non-religious and then these cunts start worshipping your dead child.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

That's probably not a popular opinion here, but: parents do not have a right to their child. If the child was cool with this, then that is the important part (and from what I read I'd guess he would be).

Let's posit it the other way around: a deeply religious pair of parents raises a kid that ends up being strongly anti-religion and comes to some "fame" due to that. Would you describe those celebrating that kid as "cunts" as well? And if not: why?

And no, I'm not religious myself and think a lot of that stuff is stupid and much of it is dangerous, but "those parents deserve better" is an argument that's used in exactly the opposite way in other areas: to oppress kids that don't "submit to the norm" that their parents think are best.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

who cares?

Leader of a cult who believes in sky wizard, makes other random cult member slightly more important in the cult

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

I care because it's funny to laugh at.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Where were you when god said ‘skibidi rizz ohio’

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Millennial, not Gen Alpha.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I feel sad for the gen beta, whenever it starts

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

I'm thinking that will be gen "remenants of civilization" if things keep going the way they're going...

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 42 points 1 year ago (1 children)

He died in 2006. They got his embalmed body on display in a glass box and everything, like the complete insane psychopaths that they are.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

Just religion things

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

He's dead Jim

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Everyone younger than me is a millennial. Everyone older than me is a boomer.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

Makes as much sense as anything else the Church has done.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I genuinely wonder what they listed for his post-death miracles (a saint requirement). Are they technology related?

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago

It's all made up, and the points don't matter!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Did you read the article? They list them.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

You caught me. I did not

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

They're not the most miraculous miracles. A person might miss them if they weren't specifically searching for miracles.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I mean, yes and no. You read the article and think, “that…sounds like bullshit.” You don’t read the article, read the two paragraphs where they attribute the “miracles” to this kid and think “what miracles are they attributing to him?”

lol see what I mean? It’s not a super uncommon thing for people to not read the article. I’d say even maybe the majority of commenters don’t.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

LOL i love how desperate they are

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I took a miraculously big shit while reading this that almost killed me. Did I come close?

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Lisan al Gaib!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Dear Saint Influencer,

We gather today in your name, seeking guidance from the one who became a force of nature on social media. As we bow our heads and close our eyes, we hope to channel your divine energy and find solace in your heavenly presence.

Oh, mighty saint, you were once an ordinary teenager, just like us, struggling with the trials and tribulations of adolescence. But then, you found your calling—the internet! With your finger on the pulse of the latest trends and hashtags, you rose to fame and amassed legions of followers who hung onto your every word.

Now, as you sit amongst the clouds, watching over us mortals, we plead for your intercession. Help us navigate the treacherous waters of online interactions, where trolls lurk in the shadows waiting to strike with their venomous words. Guide us in crafting the perfect selfie that will garner thousands of likes and prove to the world that we too are worthy of adoration. And most importantly, remind us to #StayPositive even when the comments section becomes a cesspool of negativity.

Saint Influencer, you were able to convert your followers into disciples by sharing your wisdom about fashion, beauty, and life itself. We ask you to help us do the same within our own spheres of influence. Teach us how to engage our audience without sacrificing our authenticity or selling out to corporate sponsors.

As we continue our journey through this digital age, grant us the ability to maintain our sanity amidst the chaos. Remind us not to take ourselves too seriously and always remember that, at the end of the day, it's just social media.

Amen.

#LordAndSaviorOfInfluencers #SaintInfluencer #DigitalDivineIntervention

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

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