this post was submitted on 29 Dec 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago (2 children)

The 7 minutes walk and talk segment reminded me of Forza Motorsport 6. A fucking car game with a fucking UNSKIPPABLE, long ass stupid fucking intro nobody asked for.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago

UI is 30 different sections that are marked with obscure pictures instead of words.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (3 children)

Don't forget to never fix game breaking bugs.

30min of gameplay, more purchasable with expensive unbalanced DLC's.

Loot boxes. Because a game is not addictive enough to kids without gambling.

Worst storyline, unrealistic characters.

Add more useless content, like new skins and hats, instead of fixing bugs.

Change mechanics every now and than causing loads of players to loose everything or making expensive purchased items useless.

Make the game subscription based after 6 months, when everyone already bought the base game and extra content, and aren't eligible for refunds anymore.

Make the game pay to win.

Ask EA to publish your game.

Make travel time waaaay to long, no fast travel.

Have way too many collectibles in places which are easy to reach but take a looooong time to get to, with at least 1 per set glitched somewhere impossible to reach.

Did I already say "more DLC's"?

Make multi-player server based, have those servers crash often.

Abandon the project while there's still a massive player base because you're working on the next money-grab piece of junk.

Complain constantly the people leaving bad reviews are just too dumb to understand the concept.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago
[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

Oblivion's leveling system lol. Make it both possible to level yourself too much AND not enough! Then make every enemy in the game scale. Make a skill level up as you move and another level up as you jump!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

4x type games that don't tell you how values are calculated. "Oh, but there's a wiki!" That's great, but not an excuse.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (6 children)

Wait, is Senua that bad? I was looking forward to playing that one.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago

Hellblade is amazing. It's a short bit very cinematic and immersive experience. Playing with headphones is a must, imho.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

Senua is great. The combat felt fine to me, though it definitely wasn't the game's focus.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

30 minute cutscene that dumps a lot of exposition and it ends with a timeskip into the tutorial.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

The last one is Starfield in a nutshell

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

As someone who hates souls games, make sure there are undodgeable attacks by enemies. Example, you’re walking past a wall and something attacks and kills you from behind. Also, make sure there are huge bosses with ambiguous hit boxes and indeterminable strike locations so dodging is weird and dumb.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Every mission is like this one from GTA:VC. Easy to fail, frustrating controls, annoying camera, long, unskippable intro and you can't save during it. Add minute-long loading times and it's perfect.

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