When the Bard has a whole excel database of insults
The real crime here is using Excel as a database.
this post was submitted on 31 Jan 2025
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That reminds me of my previous job at a factory where a business critical database was maintained as a single Excel file with 15000 rows and 200 columns, and now all of my bones are in attack position.
Excel databases are totally fine if the only reader is human
Reminds me of the list of tales of grand adventure that my storyteller bard used for bardic inspiration. It was tagged so I could find one fitting the current encounter.
This was a complaint I heard from friends about D&D. Them going "Dude this game sucks. You as a bard get a cool spell that lets you roleplay and I only get shit like magic missile". To which I went "What shape are your magic missiles? Why doesn't the cleric's summon a folding chair? Why is the warlock's pact just some random devil, and even then you don't roleplay anything with it?" like the insults don't come out of nowhere most of the time. Don't get me wrong, I am insanely quick on the draw. But prepping a database of insults when it's needed is part of the fun for me.