Totally can relate as a father but there are too many wonderful things about having my son that an infinite amount of panels to describe the joy would not be enough to showcase it.
this post was submitted on 17 Feb 2025
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I'm getting downvoted for being happy? I never said others should become parents but okay.
There is no "Fair" when you become a parent.
Parents who hate parenting misses their old selfish lives. Being a (good) parent means you no longer can be selfish and your life is no longer about you.
That might seem grim, but what you get in return is a little human that looks up at you. That holds your hands because you are their world to them.
Let go of your selfish lives and learn to enjoy your new selfless life.
Yeah, you can be a good parent and still miss your old life. Also, your previous life wasn't necessarily "selfish" - what kind of bleak, one-dimensional outlook is this?
You can love your kid, love to spend time with them, and still want to go to that one event, concert, knitting group, cookout, rave party, bike ride, marathon, whatever. Often, you can integrate your kid once they're old enough, and at other times you'll have to sacrifice your plans, maybe not getting together with an old friend you haven't seen in a while. If that makes you feel a little sad and disappointed, that's called being a human being with nuanced emotions, not being selfish.
Being a good parent is about loving your kid, trying to integrate them, spending quality time with them, all while staying healthy, emotionally balanced and hopefully teaching your kid how to achieve just that.
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Or I can go visit my sister and play with my niblings but not have to deal with any of the downsides of having children.
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It’s all a bit of a cope, deep down there is this primal call that isn’t easily shrugged off. Well for some at least. I know that it will get stronger for me and stronger with each year.
I am not saying the purpose of humans nowadays is to make children nor that we should be reduced to such concepts but… it’s not easy to escape millions of years of evolution. It is definitely going against everything that screams "multiply" deep down and that will take mental health toll
The only primal call I have is to fuck. I could not care less about actually having a kid as a result. If anything seeing how having kids has affected my friends ability to do so has made me want them even less.
Agreed. Never had any desire to have kids, still don't. (The wife wants them, though.)
That said, when we had a pregnancy scare last week, my first thought was "well I'm 36; guess it's time anyway".
She was not pregnant. Which was relieving, because I don't think it's a wise decision to have children in today's political landscape. That said, if it happens, it happens. I don't think I'd have a meltdown over being a dad like I would have in my 20s.
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it’s not easy to escape millions of years of evolution
It's insane that we're tied down to instincts when we believe ourselves so rational and sophisticated.
But funnily enough, I don't have that instinct? I'm more than happy to be an uncle and that's as far as the train goes for me. I can't see myself waking up with a child on my mind. So mad respect for those who commit and become wonderful parents. I think it takes a special kind of resilience that needs to be awakened when you're expecting. Props for those who embrace it.
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I’ve never once had someone ask when I’m going to have kids or tell me how great it is.
I constantly hear people bitching about it however, getting real tired of the antinatalists.
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