this post was submitted on 21 Feb 2025
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Hey there!

Last year, I fell into the Fediverse-rabbithole and I really like it so far. We already have alternatives for Twitter/X, Facebook, Instagram, Reddit and so on.

But today I realized, there actually isn't an alternative for tinder. But I think there could be a huge demand for it. This could also motivate people to change platforms, since no one wants to buy tinder premium for a lot of money.

But I think I'm maybe not the first one coming up with this idea. What do you think about this?

~ sp3ctre

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[–] [email protected] 67 points 4 weeks ago (3 children)

Let's not clone trash. Tinder sucks because it has no matching mechanism to filter out incompatible people. To find one interesting profile on Tinder I have to swipe about 500 profiles. To get more matches, I risk some false positives and like ~2% of profiles. Then I need to filter the matches in person. Very inefficient, a waste of time.

The opposite of that was OkCupid before Match Group destroyed it.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

This could be a symptom of being corporate-driven. They suggest you incompatible people, because they want you to pay (to get better results). I assume you only tried the free version. I never tried the paid one.

I think this problem could be solved.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Even if you pay they have no incentive to get you to stop paying (i.e. find a partner).

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago

If anything it's the opposite. They want user retention so they have an incentive to show you people that won't work long term.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago

OKCupid was awesome. The questionnaire matched on a bunch of different categories and you could add clarification to the questions.

Bummer it sounds like it's toast. I met my wife on OKC.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

What would the matching mechanism do? Look at your fediverse activity and match people who like the same things as you?

Could be interesting but creepy

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Just like match and okc you'd have to take a quiz and match against core values. Social media data mining would be a terrible way of matching.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I actually think observing your actual behaviour would be a better more honest way of matching.
And technically it's all public info so it's not technically a privacy issue; they'd get it over activitypub the same as all fediverse platforms already do.

But it feels wrong to do.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

It would be, if it were comprehensive and applicable to match making, but I don't think for most people that can be gleaned from fedi. Most people only lurk, few even directly follow communities, and the content people do interact with likely does not represent them well unless they put themselves out there like that.

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

Don't make it a scratch-built, stand-alone Fediverse server app.

Make it a third-party add-on for Hubzilla or (streams) or Forte that sources the profiles of channels that activate that add-on. I mean, you've gotta see the number of profile fields available on these three.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (4 children)

1000001311

It has already happened to me. Too bad I can't afford a plane ticket to Canada.

EDIT: I didn't meant that part about the plane ticket seriously. And I didn't leak any DMs between us, because I never replied to her.

[–] [email protected] 52 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Every app is a dating app if you use it wrong enough.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 4 weeks ago

A few weeks ago there was a screenshot going around "I met my wife in a github issue thread".

[–] [email protected] 14 points 4 weeks ago

Yep, "she" sent me identical, unsolicited messages from three different profiles. Seems it got stamped out though.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 weeks ago

I got this message too.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 weeks ago

I got that one several times too, and saw screenshots of it elsewhere too. Not in a while by now though.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 4 weeks ago (5 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Cool, didn't know that one. Maybe it's a good first step. Since it's open source, people can work with it and develope it further.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

The trouble is that with this sort of thing you really do need some form of moderation or quality control (of the users, not (only) the platform) because it will be inundated by fake profiles and nasty content.

As much as I'm cheering for Alovoa I don't see how this is solveable. 🥲

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Solvable by requiring verification of every user by government ID?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Then you’d need some organization with resources to store this data? You’d still need to trust someone to do this correctly.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Looking at their github and they havnt merged a PR since October. Feels a like it might be dead.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

Last commit was two weeks ago.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

There's a Foss dating app called alovoa, I think I saw something on the subreddit when I was taking a look at it again a while back about potentially implementing activitypub

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 weeks ago

My last impression was that alovoa would need a lot of work still. It's also the best thing I've seen so far but it's very buggy unfortunately.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago

Looking at their github and they havnt merged a PR since October. Feels a like it might be dead.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (2 children)

Every social media is dating App!

Why not instead make "meet" communities like reddit but on Lemmy or piefed or anywhere else, make community and let people meet that way, or you could use general conversation or whatever name is to engage in communication and that way find someone.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

like, on matrix or something 😄

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (1 children)

People are used to seperate apps for dating I guess. And the matching-concept like on tinder is nice as well if there wouldn't be a big profit-oriented company behind it. It could be a tinder with equal chances for everybody. At least it would be driven with an algorithm, which doesn't have profit as a goal.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago)

I understand that and I wish it wasn't the case, idk I feel like point of social media / or at least one of the points of using social media is to share your experiences, what you like or don't like and find like minded people and if lucky enough meet love of your life. Basically what dating apps are for.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 4 weeks ago (6 children)

I would have serious concerns regarding data privacy. You share intimate and very private details about yourself on these apps that could be used for blackmail. I wouldn't feel comfortable sharing that on a federated network. For example, how would you ensure data isn't logged by a hostile server operator. A company is at least forced to play lip service to privacy laws. The theoretical operator of fedi-date.ru can do what they want.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 weeks ago

There's nothing you can do for profile data, public key encryption is an option for DMs.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

How about doing some fine-grained control mechanism: you share little data publicly, then once somebody likes you, you can decide to share more with them. With some cryptography tricks should be possible to share this information only with the other person and not with their home servers.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

I don't think control features help much when one of the most basic question that you can ask is "What is your gender and who would you like to date?". As I have already outlined in another comment in this thread, this information has to be shared with the federated network and is already enough to get people into serious trouble should it get into the wrong hands.

Alternatively think about it this way. Would you hand over this kind of information to a total stranger? Would you take on the responsibility of handling data that could literally kill someone if you make a mistake?

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 weeks ago

There is a Mastodon frontend with a Tinder-like interface: https://apps.apple.com/de/app/fedimatch/id6503460577

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

There's nowhere near a reasonable number of users on Fediverse to sustain a geo-local dating app. Tinder already has to rate-limit matches so people don't swipe through their entire dating pool in one day. You'd be better off turning to your geo-located communities on Lemmy and encouraging meet-ups or other ways to connect.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

I want to make an effigy out of the corpse of tinder. I would not use a FOSS version of it.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 weeks ago

Point of order, an effigy by definition would be a dummy/representation of the thing that you then symbolically destroy.

As in, you make an effigy of Mussolini out of cloth and stuffing and burn it in a protest before lining him against a wall, killing him, and defiling his corpse. The corpse itself is not an effigy unless you then use that and make it look like Hitler, and then burn the Mussolini-Hitler corpse as an effigy of Hitler, which tbh would have some layers to it and seems like an innovation in effigy technology...

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I've heard of FediMatch: https://github.com/Lypsilonx/FediMatch I have not used it personally - might one day though.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

If I was goodlooking or a celeb, tiktok would be op, Druski was talking about how it is for him, and the algorithim is basically constantly showing him ppls hes interested in, and since he actually has the money and means to contact and meet them its been hella bad for his brain to know theirs always another options out there that tiktok can show him, that fits what he likes perfectly (more than he knows), because algorithim.

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