this post was submitted on 15 Mar 2025
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If we MUST eat a entire bag of Oreos.

Which scenario is better?

  • Eat the entire bag in 30 minutes
  • Eat the bag slowly, and evenly throughout a day?

(page 2) 50 comments
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[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 days ago

Eat them all at once

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 days ago

Probably across the course of the day parts maybe faster than others

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

yeah i aint touching this question, eating disorders are a bitch and this is the kind of preoccupation that we gotta let go of

[–] [email protected] 101 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The package is conveniently divided into breakfast, lunch, and dinner rows.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 week ago

We call that doing lines around these parts.

[–] [email protected] 79 points 1 week ago (2 children)

A dentist once answered this question. Better to eat it at once than soak your teeth in sugar for the entire day. Even better if you brush your teeth after, of course.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Better for your teeth, sure. Nutritionally, I'm pretty sure it's better to spread it out.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Nutritionally, it's terrible either way.

I think your body would have a better time with it spread out over the course of the entire day. However you're still absorbing an insane amount of sugar in a single day.

There's a chance all at once would result in more of it being pooped out and thus be better ... but it's so close to just eating sugar I expect you'd absorb it and then your body would go into overdrive producing insulin.

Fine every now and then, but regularly it would be insanely bad no matter which way you do it.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Fatty liver or rotten teeth... Tough choice.

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[–] [email protected] 47 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Eating sugary stuff that sticks in your teeth continuously throughout the day is the worst possible you can do for the teeth.

Binge eating sweets is pretty bad for blood sugar.

So to balance it out eat a third after every meal for max health and enjoyment.

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[–] [email protected] 42 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (8 children)

As a Canadian, unfortunately the answer is now to not eat them at all because they are an American product. This breaks my heart because I am the type of person that would eat an entire bag throughout the day :(

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

Yes that's very on point for the question being asked, thanks.

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 week ago (6 children)

Ehhh, I'd say that, on average and for most purposes, spread out is better.

Less of a hit to your system. No big blood sugar spikes, which reduces the worst aspects if swallowing an entire package to the minimum it gets.

That being said, expect digestive issues to linger. You've got a lot of fats, the coloring, and the sugars playing havoc with your guts.

Expect to need a lot of tooth brushing unless you just enjoy having plaque and acid build-up messing with your teeth.

But I'd say that the risks of big spikes in blood sugar are higher than those risks. It could, in the right circumstances, kill you. And the way some of the more recent information regarding the role of sugar in atherosclerosis, and maybe other cardiovascular illness, is looking, every big spike is whittling time off of your heart more than a bunch of little ones will.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

One of the first things I did when I first moved out from my parents is eat a whole bag of Oreos for breakfast because I could.

It turns your poop black.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Yup :)

I've had to clean up oreo poop lol.

A lot of older patients tend to get a "sweet tooth", and they'll go nuts on cookies and cakes.

Oreo poops aren't the worst poops, but they look bad and are super sticky.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

for most purposes, spread out is better. Less of a hit to your system

The digestive system is not built for boredom.

It works best with lots of changes and irregularities. Single events of such stress are no problem at all (only many repeated events of the same stress are bad). The same goes for a day or two of staying hungry.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

Yeah, but it's also not meant to process a giant package of processed fats, levels of sugar we haven't had time to adapt to, or the colorant used that is known to irritate the bowel.

Which is why folks that go on a cookie spree like that end up constipated or loose and crampy. Which, yeah there's some folks that would be able to take a giant hit of junk like that without noticing it, but I've had to clean up the mess left by Oreos when patients would go crazy on them for one reason or another (often dementia, sadly).

No, it isn't going to kill you, or send you to the hospital purely by the digestive side of things, but it can fuck up your day lol.

Also, you're misrepresenting not only what I said, but what the digestive tract is "built" for. It doesn't actually benefit from irregularity of diet. It can handle it, but eating a fairly stable, non irritating diet keeps both the gut flora and the associated hormonal products produced in the intestines at a reliable operation. The more you disturb the system, the less stable the system. When it comes to gut flora and serotonin production in the gut, high sugar intake disrupts in a way that can have lingering effects; anything from a day to a week.

Don't mistake the difference between a varied healthy diet and shoving irritants down the pipes. They aren't the same thing.

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Its better not to eat entire bag of Oreo in one day but if you must then its better to spread it over the day to avoid creating large sugar spike in your body.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

You also won't upset your stomach as much if you spread it out.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

I don't think this is true unless you're diabetic.

For non-diabetics insulin will store all the glucose just fine. Even if you have an elevated level for several hours I don't think that's particularly problematic to your health. It's problematic to diabetics because their levels are elevated perpetually.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Smash them up and dump the crumbs into a glass. Now it's a drink and no longer subject to the tyrannical nutritional guidelines of the medical establishment, leaving you free to consume it as you please.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Or grind it into fine dust and sprinkle it into your tobacco, stupid!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

I put about 5 (or sometimes 10) into a glass of milk then mash it up with a spoon. Makes a great smoothie. Hell that might be a good breakfast idea

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago

Oh, we must.

If I had to choose between those options, I’d eat them slowly throughout the day.

But in reality, it’s two sittings: one row in the afternoon, and the rest at the unhealthiest of times, around 9pm.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)

No good story has ever started with, "I ate a bag of oreos over the course of a whole day. "

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'm pretty sure that's how MLK started his speech

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago

Better to eat it at once. Your system can work away the high blood sugar level and then go back to normal.

If you create high blood sugar again and again, it is stressful for your pancreas all day long. Do that often and you will get overweight, and then diabetes.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago (3 children)

U bastard. U just reminded me I have a KitKat to eat. Do I eat the entire thing or spread it over the day?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Yes! Both. And Second Kitkat

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Its one of those large blocks tho

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago

Better to not buy dry stale cookies.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It depends on what you want your poop to look like later.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 week ago (2 children)

oh i don't plan on pooping.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

This is my eternal struggle, with any type of biscuit.

I try to not eat the whole pack in one day, so eat some then close the pack. But inevitability I go back later and finish the rest!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

The struggle is real! Sugar is its own reward, and its own punishment.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago (3 children)

In a large bowl, combine 750ml of your closest booze and the Oreos. Use a potato masher to create a smooth yet chunky consistency. Best enjoyed naked while binge watching Bojack Horseman.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 days ago

Around here, we just call that "Sunday".

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

Just commenting to say I love this question and the genuine attempts at answers. I'm going to ask a dietitian next chance I get

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

You're eating those as a treat, not for your health. You probably know the negative impact that sugar and trans fats have, so if you're going to treat yourself, I'd say make sure to make it count.

Do you get more overall pleasure from a little bit of enjoyment throughout the day or from a lot of enjoyment for a short amount of time? Maybe half now and half later or tomorrow? That's how I decide how to eat/do stuff that I enjoy but know can negatively impact my health if I over do it.

If you do want to make it less unhealthy though, try to make sure they're not the only thing in your stomach and rinse your mouth after you're done eating them.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Eat them right before a big, protein heavy meal. The sugar will stimulate insulin production which will help to process more of the protein. And then have a couple for dessert.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

All at once so you can repeat it during the entire day.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

Buy smaller bags.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

Not a nutritional expert or anything, but I'll take some guesses.

Generally, it depends on how you spread out your activities, if you are going to be active. If you aren't going to be active, it doesn't matter when or how you eat them.

Still, high fructose corn syrup needs to be broken down by the liver before it can be used by your body. It doesn't seem that it would get quickly used as an energy source, active or not. Spreading out the load over the day might be better for your liver and give you more opportunities to burn that energy. That is just speculation though.

If you eat a whole bag, then immediately run 10 miles, you are just going to vomit most of it out. Sounds like a win to me! (Doctor recommended. For realsies. /s)

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

Bruh, if I eat more than a row at a time, my tongue feels weird... like overwhelmed with sweetness. Idk how you even do that.

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