this post was submitted on 20 Mar 2025
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[–] [email protected] 6 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

I hated going to catholic church growing up. The only thing I hated more than church was CCD after school. Fuck religion fuck that indoctrinating bullshit fuck that tradition.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 19 hours ago

I took no particular offense to it, because I was brought up Catholic but also to love queer people and accept them fully and that abortion was fine, so I was ignoring all their social bugaboos all along, but when I finished school I realized a volcel in a dress had nothing to say to a young girl, and my priest's brother was my high school chaplain who was gay as a day in May but in the closet, and they lived together in this grim sexless loveless house together until the chaplain died and the priest went to be a bishop in the North where he whittled out his days until his forced retirement at 75. He wrote some choice words about Pride parades, which I wish I would have known about when it happened because I would have fought back because his brother deserved his respect.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Lmfao does the Catholic Church just go absolutely horrible on everything?

I grew up in the ELCA and we had homemade fresh baked bread every communion. It was amazing. The wine was less so so I always took grape juice (even had an old lady say "you can have the wine, the grape juice is for recovering alcoholics." I responded with, at 13, "I am a recovering alcoholic." The look on her face was priceless)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

I go to church and am one of the bread bakers, we each volunteer one week per month. It's so easy to bake bread, which we all make a different type of every time, and we buy beautiful locally bottled grape juice from a nearby farm. One of the church members is a potter and made an absolutely gorgeous communion set complete with the crown of thorns. Catholics just have some volcel in a dress yapping and singing, and absolutely NOTHING for the children of the congregation, which is why so many grow away from it, myself included, because there is nothing for your age group to engage with. It's no wonder they're such a disaster. Church can be so nice if you pay attention to the details and make it a celebration every week, and we have such robust children's programming that we have 80 kids a week attending. The Catholics actually have very set education for every stage of a child's life, but they do nothing for them at service.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 day ago

Whatever you do, don't stick your tongue out like a rock star with Jesus on your tongue. I've found this upsets the nuns. Well maybe it was just me that upset the nuns. A young atheist in a Catholic school was interesting.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I don't know about you guys but the few times I tried holy wafers (I'm not religious but had friends who were) I found them to be almost paper thin. These crispies are much thicker

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago (2 children)

These might be the deluxe ones, like Monster energy wafers. You know the commercials, “You only need 3.7 seconds for a whole mass baby!”

[–] RamblingPanda 4 points 1 day ago

Jesus has been working out lately, his body is pumped.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

It’s just if you pay more you get more of his body.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Midwestern edition, made into squares with marshmallows perhaps?

[–] RamblingPanda 15 points 1 day ago (3 children)

I've been an atheist for all of my life, but somehow I got handed one of those Jesus chips as a child, and I must say I was not impressed.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago

Before it was a Jesus chip, people used to eat it as regular food. I think some people in the world still do. Though I think they use it more for dipping in things or something. It's just a vehicle.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 23 hours ago

The Cool Ranch flavor is better

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

I'm atheist but my mom sung in choirs so I've been to some masses. I got curious what everyone was cueing up for was disappointed. Also only the pastor gets the wine. Somehow the body was necessary comestibles but the blood is optional.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 day ago (1 children)

My favorite joke after communion was asking for a toothpick because "I've got some Jesus stuck in my teeth".

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago

Does swallowing these count as deep-throating God?