I fucking hate fart culture. You're expected to just always hold in all your farts at all times. That can't be healthy. How are you supposed to know if you're about to shit your pants or if you just need to fart?
I know the drill - it's no farting within 500ft of a woman. Literally 1984. So many times I have taken a trip to the bathroom to take a huge dump only to end up filling the toilet bowl with fart gas and nothing else. And if you don't go through all this bullshit you get labeled, known and usually publicly shamed as a "known farter".
And I don't want to smell anyone's farts besides mine either so stop farting in my fucking face just because I fart in the office sometimes. Sheesh. Fucking neurotypicals and their idiotic cult bullshit they all brainwash each other into believing in.
I farted 4 times while typing this and no I didn't wipe.