this post was submitted on 16 May 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 132 points 1 month ago (1 children)

These are fucking awful times.

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[–] [email protected] 86 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 79 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 51 points 1 month ago (3 children)

It'll be funny and poetic until we all get to watch a contestant die for the first time during a prime time live event .... and the crowd roars and the ratings go through the roof as everyone realizes ... the gladiatorial games to the death have returned .... and this time we can stream it!!!!

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Bread and circuses.

The United States is dying

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Why does my bread keep going up in price then?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

If bread's too expensive you can always eat cake.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Trumpflix, but that show is pay per view with the premium plus $199 a month plan. $399 pay per view of course.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

The other show available is a live feed of the torture at gitmo and El Salvador

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

I'd pirate it and not watch it just on principle

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

We have the Millionaire CTE Scramble already.

You know. Football. Handegg.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

Ew, but yes.

Ew.

[–] [email protected] 65 points 1 month ago

May the odds be ever in your favor...

What the actual...

[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 month ago (1 children)

We need to DEPORT OUR IMMIGRANTS! UNLESS they Win at a TV Show THEN we can Let them Stay and I see NOTHING Wrong with That! Or they're WHITE!

-Literally EVERY SINGLE REPUBLICAN VOTER!

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That is not true. Any immigrants that can spend $5 million are free to buy a fresh, hot, and newly minted social security card!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

But that doesn’t buy you tolerance in the society. That’s extra on a subscription basis

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 month ago

I literally did a triple-take thinking I ate the onion and then realized it's not fake. Holy SHIT. Time for the 2A.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

The more I watch Andor, the more I feel like a need a gun.

Coincidence, really.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 month ago

And they called me a fool for having Hunger Games on my bingo card.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Executions will be televised one day.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I know that I will have grim satisfaction while watching.

[–] radiohead37 23 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This article sounds like bs.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

"According to the Daily Mail..."

My bs senses are tingling on this one, too. I think I'll be watching for confirmation from elsewhere before I give this much energy.

Edit: it's insane that it's even remotely believable, though. And it is believable. Like, easily believable.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

those five words from an unknown third-party source should be enough to raise flags, i hope..

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The Daily Mail is nit an unknown source. They are the most awful British tabloid. I give them negative trust.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

The Daily Mail is nit an unknown source.

lol 'nit' indeed :P

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

So MAGA wants to take away birthright citizenship and institute game show winner citizenship. This is the same government we're relying on to do the right thing in a nuclear confrontation.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I am more frightened of the Trump Regime than Stalin's in this regard. Both are evil, but one completely is completely void of sanity.

It is my hope that foreign governments are taking actions to take away the nuclear button from Trump. Maybe a deal with Qatar to activate the self-destruct if Trump attempts to give the order for a nuclear dawn?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I don't know about foreign governments - who on the US side would make those deals, given that MAGA is running the government? But our own military isn't run by robots, and they're prepared not to take stupid rash actions on command from Bonespurs. This was talked about when he took office the first time.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago

Then they deport the winner anyway, because citizenship doesn't matter to Trump.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

There are really people out there who support this shit who think they deserve to be regarded as good people just because they're friendly on an interpersonal level.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

Of course the admin supports dehumanizing people for entertainment. How about reducing prices on something. Like bread.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

The odds of Mr. Beast being the ringleader for this particular circus is high.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That's all they really know anyways, reality TV. Bit of a misnomer really.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

FOREIGNERS OUT! SCHLINGENSIEFS CONTAINER

Satirising reality TV shows, "Big Brother" especially, a dozen asylum seekers were surveilled by a multitude of cameras, could be fed and watched by passer-by's and two were thrown out of the country through web-voting. The way fascism looks in the 21st century: Bright. Sensational. Interactive. Funny - and frightening.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

20th century fascism was characterized by a thick layer of self importance and respectability to hide a vulgar core.

21st century fascism is just vulgar through and through.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Scenes envisaged include one in San Francisco, where the immigrants are sent down a mine to collect the most gold

In Cape Canaveral, Florida, the hub of NASA, contestants would rush to build and launch a rocket.

In Hayward, Wisconsin, they'd struggle to keep their balance on logs.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I thought you were being facetious

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Just adding some relevant facts. Not the onion.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This is like a really shitty version of The Running Man.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I have the outline of a plot where Kristi Noem gets spit roasted by Mike Lee and Mike Johnson.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Squick Game

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

We deserve Trump. He truly represents us.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

May the odds be ever in your favor.

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