this post was submitted on 26 Jun 2025
238 points (100.0% liked)

Greentext

6731 readers
1391 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 17 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 63 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Jokes on you. How do you know not every bread has been fucked before you ate it? Checkmate, atheists.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

You're right! I'm not paying extra until they provide proof.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago

Just check your bakers OnlyBrans profile

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

Extra protein

[–] [email protected] 49 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

*Fleshli-

You know what who cares

[–] [email protected] 38 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

Do not fuck raw eggs or yeast, please.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 weeks ago

"Dropped raw chicken breast on penis and now it’s burning, please help"

[–] And009 5 points 2 weeks ago

Making it protein rich.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

Yes, please pasteurize it first.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

MyFlatLoaf.png

>making flatbread for a party
>dough is runny and moist
>imagine I’m baking a giant wad of cum 
>imagine stomachs bursting with my delicious seed
>they beg for more
>but I wont give it to them because I have a 24 hour refractory period 
due to sourdough starter regeneration time
Anyway, family reunion thread? 
[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Fake: anon knows how to actually make banana bread
Gay: anon imagines a guy's ass

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

There's a Viz comic about that...

Fru T. Bunn – a "Master Baker" who makes his own sex dolls out of gingerbread and then attempts to have sex with them. Often he actually succeeds, only to be discovered in the last frame by his wife and daughter (Little Chelsea – ref to the Chelsea Bun)!!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

They also make banana cream baked goods

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

Bread is natural?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

Calm down, Roko.