this post was submitted on 01 Jul 2025
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The Onion and other satire w/ layers

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Famed 2010 platformer Super Meat Boy has been revered by critics and gamers alike for its design, controls, and tough but fair level of difficulty. However, its presentation is likely to turn off some consumers, with the player controlling a sentient cube of red meat that leaves blood streaks on every surface he touches. How are the poor plant-based game enthusiasts supposed to enjoy it? If you happen to fall under this category, today is your lucky day, as these five vegan alternatives will ensure you’re not missing out on any of the stellar side-scrolling action. [...]

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

If Super Meat Boy is objectionable, wouldn't Celeste be as well? Madeline is also made of meat.

If it's cruelty they're concerned about, Meat Boy seems fine being a sapient bloody piece of meat, so what's the problem?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago)

Back when it made the transition from flash game to retail-release megahit, PETA put out a joke clone game called Super Tofu Boy. In response, Team Meat added tofu boy as a hidden character to later releases. His jump height is so low I don't think you can even easily beat the first level.

Anyway, i think this article was just an excuse to promote some games the author likes and get out some easy content. Celeste and N++ are both godtier platformers, and Dustforce is severely underrated, so I'm fine with it, haha.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 hours ago

Slime-san is a slime, which I believe are closer evolutionarily to bacteria than animals

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

No Plants Vs Zombies? It's plant based, and the protein is already dead.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 hours ago

I assume the proposed substitutions have to be genre-constrained