this post was submitted on 07 Jul 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 22 hours ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 21 hours ago

Presenting male but identifying (mostly just not publicly out) as another gender

Usually a thing trans ppl do to avoid situations with family or because they live in a red state

[–] [email protected] 6 points 21 hours ago

Someone who is in boy mode.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 day ago (1 children)

If I had to guess I'd say the friend is either boosting the transition because duh, or trying to fuck because why else would you not tell them what the spell is for? Unless there's some rule about spellcasting like for birthday wishes where it doesn't work if you tell

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Now you raise the interesting point as to whether birthday wishes are witchcraft

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Depends on who you're asking, from experience all I can say conclusively is that Catholics would definitely say no, but I'm 100% sure there's at least one christian sect out there that would say yes and be entirely serious

[–] [email protected] 5 points 13 hours ago

Is that sect the JWs?

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 day ago

She's going to cast a seduction spell on anon, obviously

[–] [email protected] 65 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Embarrass herself by telling people she believes in witchcraft.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 day ago (5 children)

As if its any worse than the alternatives

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 day ago (8 children)

You say that as if you HAVE to believe in magic.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 day ago (2 children)

It's a lot more fun to believe in magic when you know it's not real than to actually believe in magic.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

I cast itchy retina on you.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

FYI around the time you sent this I rubbed my eye, but forgot that I had cut jalapeños earlier...I do not like you

[–] [email protected] 3 points 21 hours ago

Fear my arcane spells.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (10 children)

True. But it’s still silly.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It's definitely worse than not believing in magic

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Man im too old to give a fuck what people believe anymore.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 21 hours ago (3 children)

You aren't bothered by "vaccines cause autism" stuff?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

They're too old to give a fuck about what people who don't have power over others believe anymore.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 hours ago

It doesn't seem like that was the case

[–] [email protected] 2 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Wtf gives you that impression

Believe what you want doesn't mean be a fuckin moron

[–] [email protected] 2 points 18 hours ago

Man im too old to give a fuck what people believe anymore.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (15 children)

Is it though...? As stupid as the Abrahamic God is, at least you have a "God of the Gaps" thing going on where all God really has to be is someone with their own agency to grant you what you ask for and to determine where to place you in an untestable "afterlife". Of course there's an obvious cocktail of inherent contradictions when you choose "omniscient", "omnipotent", and "omnibenevolent" at the same time, but then you can appeal to the idea we wouldn't possibly understand the whims of such a god outside of time and space. Again, stupid as fuck, but you can weasel your way out of anything.

But witchcraft? Okay, you're transferring the agency to yourself, a human that exists here, and you're saying you can perform magic, but now you have no evidence you're capable of jack shit and you have no excuse to pawn it off onto. You'll never be able to do magic your entire life because it categorically isn't real, so is the excuse that witches are real but you personally really suck as one? Is the idea that you do what "God" does and take credit for anything that vaguely "works" by sheer coincidence and ignore everything else? Do you only cast "spells" that function as placebos like easing someone's pain or making them feel happy – similar to many prayers?

And of course with God you don't have any way to test where this magic is coming from; it was there before time and is all-powerful, and there's any number of ways with that setup to weasel your way out. But what's the scientifically measurable phenomenon behind witchcraft? There is none, and unlike God where there also is none, this should be easily testable if it exists since it allegedly interacts with the physical world.

So now you've gone from untestable woo like the afterlife and testable but weaselable woo like prayers to woo that you should absolutely be able to test empirically because you're in control of it.

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[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Hmm if she had said "I'll pray for you" we all know what she would have been praying. So witches less shitty than Christians? Or do we need to ask more Christians exactly what they are praying for?

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 day ago (1 children)

"I'll pray for you" but it's a prayer to Lempo, god of fucking from Finnish mythology.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Frey, brother of Freya, is usually also depicted with a big ol' dick. He's a fertility and agriculture god! Of course you want him to fuck your fields.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 day ago

what are u doin step field

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 day ago

Lempo isn't a fertility god, though. His areas are erotic love, sex, and sexual prowess. He is also known by the feminine name Lemmätär or Lemmetär (-tar and -tär being feminizing suffixes). It's not surprising that Christian revisionists turned him into one of the chief demons.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

There is a large amount of the Queer community that practice witchcraft and other esoterica. It is often seen as a spiritual safe space for people outside of hetero-normative society.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago

Why leave irrationality to the monotheists

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 day ago

to smite all transphobes of course

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