This is ahorrible idea, you can't catch ashes in a butterfly net.
You need to use a wood chipper instead of the crematorium. Much larger pieces, much easier to catch.
this post was submitted on 07 Jul 2025
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Idea!
Carbonize the remains and then woodchipper those! They're basically charcoal so it's less messy, and they can be caught in a net NP!
But then what will i do with all these ponchos?
Yeah but first you need to flash freeze the body before you throw it in the chipper. Otherwise you’d just create a smoothie.
General fun = Funeral!
I want to be in a funeral. Its in my bucket list lol. Everyone has a funeral in their bucket list.
Every good funeral ends with us all taking pieces of them home stuck in our hair. Taste better than nuclear winter, not as good as volcanic ash.. must be marighost
Chad died the way he lived … coating all his friends faces and bodies in a carnal blast of his essence.
coating all his friends faces and bodies in a carnal blast of his essence
I used to want to have my corpse frozen, then loaded into the pilot seat of a fake alien landing shuttle, complete with a computer system and books written in “alien language” that’s really just complicated code version of my will, and pushed off a transport plane to fall somewhere such as Antarctica or Greenland, to be covered with snow and ice for decades before someone randomly found it. Absolute win for conspiracy shit, and would be fun to be a random surprise like that.
I no longer have this plan because 1. I can’t afford it and 2. We don’t really get significant new ice anymore. We just lose old ice.
You can still submerge yourself in a bog, it's way cheaper.
Entirely true. I wonder what it would take to create a bog..
I mean people have been filling them for ages right? It’d just be restoration.. but probably nowhere near where I am so probably still expensive ;)
I know of a swamp that’s kinda sorta nearby, but like people constantly joke about dumping bodies there so it wouldn’t be a good spot.
have you considered burying your prank in the transpacific garbage patch?
I wouldn’t get found until humanity gets its shit together and cleans up the place. So at this rate, never. But not a bad idea.
Nah, now that I’m older, I don’t want to leave anything behind that contributes to the litter. I mean heck I don’t even want to leave my future homestead to be cleared out and have my things dumped.. I’d rather hold the land in trust and pass it, and all the stuff therein, along to whomever I hire to help me when I’m too old to do everything myself.
At this point I just want my corpse dumped in the woods to be consumed, probably on my own land. Return to nature, maybe bury the bones if needed afterwards. Though it would be cool to have my skull collected and painted or something. Put on display somewhere on my land so I can stay there forever :)
When I have enough money and want to die, I'll buy a bunch of burial plots next to one another and have them all excavated. My loved ones will paint a ring of color around each one. Then I'll skydive with a squirrel suit on - red for 10 points, blue for 5 and white for 1. There'll be a booky on site.
I tough it said "Gets the Wii" and was kinda excited.
They could own a wii you don't know.
Everyone I knew will be at the wake. As the first of my friends and family approach the casket, they let out a gasp. The casket is empty. Suddenly, the lights go out. The Space Jam Theme Song begins to play as the room is illuminated with disco balls and a laser light show. The lights reveal my body is swinging from a ceiling fan in the center of the room. Funerals are too depressing, and I want mine to be a celebration of life. No money is mentioned in my will, it is all going to the open bar
elefun
MEMORY UNLOCKED
Oh, now do a Mr. Bucket version!
Lotsa fun :D
Millennial (maybe Gen X too?) funeral in a nutshell.