this post was submitted on 31 Oct 2023
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[–] [email protected] 78 points 2 years ago (3 children)

“While Kentucky doesn't have an ocean, it does have aquariums. In 2006, at least 12 people at Kentucky's Newport Aquarium were bitten by sharks while at an exhibit that allows visitors to touch the animals”

Keep in mind that this aquarium is just across the river from the zoo where parents let their kids fall into the gorilla exhibits.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 years ago

HARAMBE!!!!!

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Is this an example of American exceptionalism?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago
[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 years ago

And yet it's an awesome aquarium and I highly recommend it. Including the 'touch a shark' part.

[–] [email protected] 63 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 years ago (2 children)

This is shockingly relevant

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 years ago

sharkingly*

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago

Definitely.

I also want to get the last 3 frames printed on a t-shirt. I have a young daughter, and it amuses me even more since that happened.

[–] [email protected] 61 points 2 years ago (8 children)

They swim up the Mississipi

[–] [email protected] 34 points 2 years ago (1 children)

People don't realize that Mississippi is an acronym and all of the s's are for 'shark.'

[–] [email protected] 46 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Most
Inland
Sharks go
Sharking
Incessantly.
Sharks
Shark
In
Parts of
Places
Inconceivable

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 years ago

Really rolls off the tongue!

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 44 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It's hilariously stupid. In 2005 one dude was cleaning an aquarium's shark tank and cut his arm on a passing shark.

https://sourcenm.com/2021/10/15/new-mexicos-shark-attack/

Still counts.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

How does one cut one's arm on a passing shark? Sharks are smooth as can be.

Edit: Never mind just read the article and he cut his arm on a tooth while the shark swam past open-mouthed.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I know you already found the answer, but I want to add that shark skin is only smooth in one direction, if at all. The scales are made of V-shaped grooves, like their teeth. Their skin can definitely break yours if rubbed in the wrong direction at a fast enough speed.

I can personally vouch for this. I used to volunteer at aquariums. The sharks and manta rays were my favorite exhibits to work in. Penguins were dope too, but they smell.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 years ago

Sorry but you're wrong, sharks are well known for having the smoothest skin

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 years ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 years ago

I'll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missourah (had a shark attack)

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 years ago

oh no i just released Kentucky too THE SHARKNADOES ARE COMING

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 years ago
[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Non-midwesterners: surprised

Midwesterners who've had a fear of bull sharks since their friend told them about them when they were 5: see I knew it could happen

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 years ago

Bull sharks yo

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 years ago

Could it be loan sharks?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 years ago (2 children)

The chances of a shark attacking you on dry land are low but never zero!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago

That's just basic quantum physics.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 years ago

I remember reading the NM one happened in a aquarium, but it is still counted. Bull sharks do travel up the Mississippi River and tributaries and have been reported in IL.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Just realized New York has a lot of shark attacks unless you're taking about loan sharks where the fuck do you get attacked by a shark in the toxic wasteland that is the entire state every water source is a pond full of garbage and other stuff you really don't want to touch

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 years ago

At the New York Aquarium

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 years ago

Ah, the elusive lank-shark!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Okay, but New Mexico??? We barely have lakes here!

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago

You rock! I'm spreading that information like gospel to everyone I talk to this week!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Sharknado motherfucker

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago

flying in the air sharks

now that's some kind of horror

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 years ago

Bull shark attack in the Ozarks no? At least that is what all the locals claim haha.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 years ago (4 children)

Could it be a zoo? No, that would be too easy

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Flying street sharks are more likely

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago

True, there are more streets than zoos

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 years ago

Sharks Georg, who lives in Missouri with his shark collection, is an outlier and should not have been counted.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago

🎤🎤 Scary flying shark, scary flying shark, Careful you, he's out hunting in the dark 🎤🎤

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago

THERE'S A SHARK IN THE BATHTUB

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 years ago

OP probably: "What's that squiggly line between these landlocked states? Probably not important."

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