this post was submitted on 11 Dec 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] [email protected] 106 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Why don't they have Wi-Fi in Church?

!They don't want to compete with an invisible power that actually does something!<

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

The power of zing compels you

[–] [email protected] 74 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

Except Panera’s not even in the same league when it comes to completely unnecessary deaths… religion/ church has millennia & millions up on Panera.

Edit: Panera also has far less sweaty-palmed, Father Feelgood kiddie-diddling accusations as well.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 year ago

Panera's doing their best! It's hard to compete when the other guy has a head start that spans basically all of recorded history

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago

Let them cook

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[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 year ago

You know what? That death lemonade isnt going to rape your kid so it is still better than church.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I get a tasty lemonade, AND I get to die??? Sign me up!!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

I haven't tried it, but I heard it's not actually that great. Though that one person who died had three of them, so what do I know

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Well, you get to die anyways, so that's lemonade && 1 = lemonade

[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 year ago

Ok but I’m still not going to church

[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 year ago (2 children)

How many people have died because of organized religion vs. Panera charged lemonade.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Hard to say since the former is still a running number

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 year ago (1 children)

To be fair, the church had killed more people than literally anything.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Mosquitoes would probably beat them, but they've had a hefty head start. The church are aware of this, of course, which is why they double down on the paedophilia to catch up.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I don't blame people for not going to church. They don't even give you wine anymore, just grape juice. Jesus drank wine, why can't I?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I thought Jesus was wine or something like that? I've never participated in Christianity's cannibalistic rituals though, so I'm sure I'm a bit confused.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

the wine only becomes Jesus' blood in your tummy unless you have an operation or autopsy then it turns back into wine just in the nick of time, apparently.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

It's only cannibalism if you believe you are the same as God.

Arise, God-drinkers.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

For mormons it's just water :(

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Mormons had to mix mayonnaise into their ketchup when it first got introduced to Utah, because ketchup was too spicy. Mormons are bitches.

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)

No no, let's hear the lemonade out

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Okay, but if Panera starts playing bad rock songs in praise of their lemonade, I'm leaving.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Its more likely than you think. Waffle house has a music label.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (2 children)

GODDAMMIT YOU CANNOT JUST I-V-vi-IV YOUR WAY THROUGH LIFE!!!

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

What if it's a banger? Coke seems to keep doing it so it's not outside the realm of possibility

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago

So I either have to die from needlessly over caffeinated soft drinks or deliver my own son to a molestation orgy club? What fucked up kind of choice is that?!

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

To be fair though, church is many times more deadly and 0% delicious 🤷

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago

I must be out of the loop. What's church?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Don't threaten me with a good time Panera

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Right? The suicide coaster of beverages.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

Random caffeine overdoses are preferable to repeated genocide…

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago (18 children)

Panera has been selling some sort of lemonade with a ton of caffeine, and there have been a couple of news stories recently about it killing people.

It sounds like people aren't aware that "charged lemonade" has caffeine at all when they order it. Or maybe they realize it but aren't expecting 260-390mg.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Holy fuck where has this lemonade been my whole life???!?!?!

If you never see me post again, tell my mom I loved her!

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago (3 children)

"This lemonade has been actively killing people with caffeine overdose"

@rug_burn : man I gotta get me some of this stuff

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Based low caffeine tolerance

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Fck. That seems like it's way more than your typical energy drink that's off the charts too.

I would love to know how that product development meeting went. "Hey people, we have this idea, think lemonade and coffee, but like 10 cups of coffee in a single lemonade.

It's like being kicked in the chest by a horse. It could kill some people and open us up to litigation, but man are the sales going to be way up there too!"

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

For context, the energy drink sitting next to me has 160mg of caffeine.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)

For anyone concerned about their beverages. Following is a table of Recommended maximum daily intake of caffeine according to different age groups & categories: https://www.canada.ca/en/health-canada/services/food-nutrition/food-safety/food-additives/caffeine-foods.html

FDA's recommendations: https://www.fda.gov/consumers/consumer-updates/spilling-beans-how-much-caffeine-too-much

For measure: 8 oz (227 g) of Coffee has 80-100 mg of caffeine or 35-45 mg of Caffeine per 100 g of Coffee. (Average, numbers may vary accordingly.)

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (11 children)

I think at least one case where a death occured they had like 3 or 4 of them

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Keeping in mind that till recently it was common for the lemonade to be available where people could get their own refills. Also containing guarana, not as many people (including myself) would immediately recognize it as a simulant or have some kind of reference to their personal tolerance for intake.

"Brown, 46, had an unspecified chromosomal deficiency disorder, a developmental delay and a mild intellectual disability. He lived independently, frequently stopping at Panera after his shifts at a supermarket, the legal complaint says. Because he had high blood pressure, he did not consume energy drinks, it adds.

The lawsuit was filed on behalf of Brown’s mother, sister and brother less than two months after Panera was hit with a separate lawsuit regarding Sarah Katz, an Ivy League student with a heart condition who died in September 2022 after she drank a Charged Lemonade. That lawsuit, first reported by NBC News, called the beverage a “dangerous energy drink” and argued that Panera failed to appropriately warn consumers about its ingredients, which include the stimulant guarana extract.

Panera has advertised its Charged Lemonade as “Plant-based and Clean with as much caffeine as our Dark Roast coffee.” At 390 milligrams of caffeine, a large, 30-fluid-ounce Charged Lemonade has more caffeine in total than any size of Panera’s dark roast coffee, the legal complaints say. The large cup contains more than the caffeine content of standard cans of Red Bull and Monster energy drinks combined, plus the equivalent of nearly 30 teaspoons of sugar, the complaints say."

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Goddamn, that's a lot of caffeine on a lemonade, wth

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

I'LL TAKE 5

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Reminds me of this, and why you can't easily get powdered caffeine anymore;

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/powdered-caffeine-death-fda-legal-action/

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