A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
I watch Lord Of The Rings at Christmas.
it has elves
the fellowship set out from Rivendell on the 25th of December
Gandalf has a santa-like beard
I rest my case
Don't forget they all came out in December! That's the only thing that matters.
Aww never knew they were LGBT 🥰
All of them were originally released around the holidays back in the early 00s as well, so there's baked in Christmas association with those movies.
In a parallel universe multiplex somewhere, Christopher Lee smashed it as Krampus.
I'm pretty sure that Krampus is actually based on his activities during the second world war.
What bad little nazis got for Christmas.
And there ain't no good little nazis.
People say Die Hard is Christmas movie because people are so fucking tired of the same rehashed Christmas movies that get played in repeat every year. I like Elf but I've seen it enough.
Same with Christmas music. I'm tired of this boomer era shit starting in October.
A tradition is anything that happened to a boomer twice.
Muppet Christmas Carole never gets old.
“If you _____ it means you have no personality” is played out
If you enjoy “if you _____ it means you have no personality” articles it means you have no personality.
Agreed. Saying everything isn't a personality isn't a personality either.
american psycho should be one if them, the main character even says "have a holly jolly christmas"
There are more nonchalant Christmas references in American Psycho than in a Shane Black movie.
I like when he ODs the two elves on MDMA then walks around with the elf head on his dick.
Such metaphor.
I saw some clickbait article the other day “movies you didn’t realize were Christmas movies” and it was full of obvious Christmas movies. #1 was Its a Wonderful Life………
Okay but why aren’t some of these Christmas season movies? I think narnia really isn’t that big of a stretch
Snow ≠ Christmas
It was only wintery because of the witch. If anything, it's Easter themed, since it's literally a crucifixion allegory.
Edit: I'm a big dumb wrong person.
Santa is literally in the book. He arms the children.
I remember that was in the movie too!
I need to rewatch those
@ZeroCool @qooqie @PapaStevesy the witch cursed Narnia so that it's always winter and never Christmas.
So with Santa's help, the kids saved Christmas. Yeah you're not convincing me that Narnia isn't a Christmas movie
What’s your case for Home Alone then?
That’s a Christmas movie to the core.
Because its an article specifically meant to infuriate people who get into these kinds of discussions.
It really depends on whether you can stomach watching Kevin Spacey or not, but The Ref is one of the greatest Christmas movies imo
EXCUSE ME EXCUSE ME EXCUSE ME. The corpse still has the floor!
Dennis Leary at his zenith.
'The Ref' is a glaring omission. Burn the website down.
Sorry, Onion, some of these literally have Christmas in their titles. That's a stretch, even for you. XD
The post is from hardtimes.net
All my satire is onion and all my consoles are nintendo
Yeah, but the community here is theonion. The comment applies the same for any of the satire sites.
🤷♀️ I don't enjoy traditional Christmas movies that much and I think it's fun to do something different.
There are 8 billion of us, it's pretty tough to say something original all the time.
Die hard should have been on one and not lethal weapon. Other than that I think those are excellent choices.
Lethal Weapon was written by Shane Black, so by default it's a Christmas movie.
"get a personality" and "that's your whole personality" is just lazy writing. it's a generic insult deployed against anyone who likes a thing that says nothing about the person or the thing. it's the satire equivalent to "vegan bad". why should I read an article written by someone who makes parroting bland criticisms from the internet their whole personality?
Not the Onion's best work, if I'm honest. Feels like C-grade Cracked.com material.
Probably because it's from The Hard Times, not The Onion.