Nothing says buy seal penises like... Taylor swift?
Is the simulation collapsing into a Swift-ularity? She's suddenly at the center of everything, including seal meat. Wtf
this post was submitted on 05 Feb 2024
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Is the simulation collapsing into a Swift-ularity?
Certainly seems so.
Taylor Swift is the only important person in the world according to the news.
I mean I like her music, but if you asked me a couple of years ago who's going to be shaking the world in 2024, definitely wouldn't say Taylor Swift.
I don't think I've ever heard a single song of hers.
If your young, it's not that difficult to avoid music.
But she was huge like 20 years ago as a country singer, went to pop, and now makes slightly more grown up pop.
If you're over 30 and American you've 100% heard one of her songs because radio was still a thing back then.
I'm glad I wouldn't really be able to tell if the pop song is hers by just listening to it. But then I stopped listening to pop in high school and radio stations once MP3 players could hold more than 3 grindcore albums at a time.
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You can only get so famous before the seal penis lobby come after you.
...you die a hero or you live long enough to become the seal penis?
As ridiculous as this story is on its own, the Taylor Swift comment was obviously a joke. The guy was testifying that Russians and celebrities were spreading "misinformation" about seal hunting, and that they needed to counter that with a PR campaign of their own. And the official said "(since Ryan Reynolds is out) we're targeting the Swifties" as the target demographic, and laughed that Swift might endorse the seal hunt.
She was name dropped because she's the most famous celebrity at the moment, to highlight the absurdity of the idea, not because the idea has merit. It's still a funny story about seal murder. The author of the article even has a statement from the official buried in the last paragraph that says "obviously, that was a joke you dipshits" or something. I'm paraphrasing.
Edited to accurately describe what she said.
It's still a funny story about seal murder
Murder? I'll have you know that was sealf defense, when he threatened me with the malice in his eyes, his fate was sealed.
On a side note what's the going rate for a seal penis. I sealiously don't want to keep it.
Do you know how many magazines Time sold when they made her person of the year?
She's the only thing keeping the news industry alive.
Is the simulation collapsing into a Swift-ularity?
Honestly, I would be okay with that. We could do a lot worse.
Canadians need to realize that eating seal is as normal as eating a lamb chop or a veal sandwich,” added Kolga.
Am I having a stroke? What? What the fuck is going on with this article?
Who talks about fucking veal sandwiches like it's an every day thing? I've never in my life seen seal meat for sale, not heard of anyone having tried it.
Been Canadian my whole 50 years, have never seen seal meat. Not even in gourmet grocers who sell wild animal meats. The local deli does sell veal parm though.
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Have you never fucked a veal sandwich?
Highly recommended, especially if it’s freshly clubbed and still warm.
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they dont even make a case of what benefit this provides besides money for specifically them. Go into a different industry if consumers dont want what you're selling.
But... What if clubbing baby seals is their calling? /s
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seal meat is a thing?
Yeah, otherwise they wouldn't be much more than skeletons.
here in the states, 'clubbing baby seals' is a basic euphemism for 'evil'
its beyond strange to hear there is not only a market for seal meat, but that it is flat out an accepted industry. i have no horse in this race though, id eat it.. or the horse
I remember habing a T-shirt Hell shirt that showed two baby seals in swanky attire dancing under a disco ball, with the words "Stop Clubbing Baby Seals" in glittery rhinestones.
Haha I just checked and not only does that site still exist it looks exactly the same as I remember from like 20 years ago
There is a lot of misinformation on both sides about the commercial seal hunt in Canada. Which makes it difficult to get the truth.
But to call people who are engaging in the hunt using traditional or modern methods as evil is some fucking bullshit. Most times it's a group who don't understand the nuances, using a standard that doesn't apply.
Now, saying that there aren't problems with the hunt would be rather disingenuous, and most of the anti-hunting groups deliberately misrepresent the facts because seals are cute. At the same time, the industry associations and hunters themselves are biased.
There is a way to ethically hunt seals, and having a market to sell the meat and fur is imperative for that. I'm not passing judgment on the hunters if the animals don't suffer, and they stick to the quotas and guidelines set forth by the DFO.
It also looks horrific because ice is white and stains with blood easily, so as opposed to shooting a deer in grass, killing a seal looks incredibly gory.
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Yes. Normally sold internationally beacuse the market in Canada is rather small.
The people who hunt seals have been trying to boost domestic consumption for years.
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She really needs to just put the whole music thing on hold and help us with literally everything else, apparently.
What in the fuck is this article. Its like a bad joke, what does seal penises and taylor swift have in common?
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We're sure this isn't a satire site?
How is seal meat still an industry? We have no need for seal anything, we aren't Inuit people living way up north or some shit.
Fucking capitalism will murder anything it can.
Is this Ottawa’s version of “The Onion”?
canada is like an onion source: am canadian
Naw, that's the Beaverton.
Lol why in the fuck would she agree to that? I'd be surprised if she wasn't vegan already.
And by the way, I kept being told that seal hunt and meat was for native populations to use and such. Now it's become a corporate market? How is that tradition?
Why are we talking about Russia when my Ontario elementary school showed videos of the seal hunt? I vividly remember that happening with a strong: this is wrong take.
I was expecting that they wanted Taylor to speak out against seal meat, not endorse seal penis meat.
Is she going to eat all those seal pensises herself? Come on Taylor, share!
Anyone who thinks the seal meat industry should expand greatly should either supply a very good reason for why anyone should want to support this or retire. I opened that article just to see if it had an answer to "why?" and there was none to be found.
The closest was "people eat lamb chop and veal sandwiches all the time", which has never been the case for me. I'd try it, but wouldn't go out of my way for it and wouldn't make a habit of it, especially not to just support the seal industry.
Most likely, if they had a good reason, it would have been the focus of this article. But since there wasn't one, I can only assume that they have none.
Edit: I'm referring to the senators trying to push this as if it is something that benefits Canadians for the retirement comment, as I see I didn't qualify that "anyone".
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This is curbing on the plot of an episode of Elementary from, like, 5 or 6 years ago.
It was ridiculous then too. 
What the fuck did I just read?
The Burns Omni-Net sweeps the sea clean!
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