this post was submitted on 24 Mar 2024
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    Alt Text

    Linux Error Messages That Go Hard Starter Pack

    ERROR: Failed to mount the real root device.
    Bailing out, you are on your own. Good luck.
    
    WARNING: The following essential packages will be removed.
    This should NOT be done unless you know exactly what you are doing!
       sysvinit initscripts (due to sysvinit) sysv-rc (due to sysvinit) util-linux
    0 upgraded, 0 newly installed, 198 to remove and 3 not upgraded
    You are about to do something potentially harmful.
    To continue type in the phrase 'Yes, do as I say!'
     ?] 
    
    (12/19) upgrading linux-raspberrypi
    WARNING: /boot appears to be a seperate partition but is not mounted.
             You probably just broke your system. Congratulations.
    >>> Updating module dependencies. Please wait...
    
    [   0.895799] ---[ end Kernel panic - not syncing: VFS: Unable to mount root fs 
    on unknown block(0,0)
    
      _______________________________
    < Your System ate a SPARC! Gah! >
      ------------------------------
                \    ^__^
                  \  (xx)\_________
                     (__)\         )\/\
                      U   ||-----w |
                          ||      ||
    
    Out of memory: Kill process 15745 (postgres) score 10 or sacrifice child
    

    all 37 comments
    sorted by: hot top controversial new old
    [–] [email protected] 167 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    Can't forget about "This incident will be reported."

    [–] [email protected] 68 points 1 year ago (1 children)

    Fun fact! It gets reported to /var/spool/mail/root ! If your mail spooler is properly configured (and your SMTP relay is also configured to send mail addressed to root to an actual user account) then you will get these alerts by email.

    [–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)
    [–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

    As SU type mail, you can read what meesages got sent to root@machinename

    [–] 21Cabbage 15 points 1 year ago

    I first got that on a Mac in my school and actually got scared it was going to tell the IT desk. It didn't.

    [–] [email protected] 134 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    I'd like to add this one:

    Uhhuh. NMI received for unknown reason 31 on CPU 3.
    Dazed and confused, but trying to continue
    

    I get this one like once a week and it always makes me laugh. One day I'll investigate

    [–] [email protected] 50 points 1 year ago

    I mean reason 31 could be anything. CPU 3 could be feeling a little tired, be pranking you, or just not be the brightest of the CPUs.

    [–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago

    Poor Tux, it's a rough life

    [–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

    BIOS/UEFI likely tried to fuck up the CPU, or hardware fault. NMI => Non Maskable Interrupt.

    [–] [email protected] 99 points 1 year ago

    I love some of the dangerous upgrade commands too, my favorite:

    hdparm --fwdownload-mode7 firmwarefile.bin --yes-i-know-what-i-am-doing --please-destroy-my-drive /dev/sdb

    [–] [email protected] 57 points 1 year ago

    Legend has it that in the dark ages, when DEC (Digital Equipment Corp) licensed ARM from Acorn for their StrongARM processors, they took Arm's testing toolkit and ran it to find issues with their processor.

    Now, ARM was a tiny division and only had developed their tools for strictly internal usage. It was never supposed to go to some huge and professional enterprise like DEC.

    So when the DEC engineering team ran the tester, It shouted a SHIFTER FUCKED error right at them lmfao

    [–] [email protected] 39 points 1 year ago

    Can you insert Lp0 on fire as well ? :) https://en-academic.com/dic.nsf/enwiki/7306628

    lp0 on fire (aka Printer on Fire) is a semi-obsolete error message still generated on some Unix/Linux operating systems in response to certain types of printer errors. lp0 is the Unix device handle for the first line printer, but the error can be displayed for any printer attached to a Unix/Linux system.

    [–] [email protected] 37 points 1 year ago

    Sacrificing children is pretty common in Linux

    [–] [email protected] 33 points 1 year ago (3 children)

    Is there a version of this with some pixels in it?

    [–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

    Possibly, but I'll just transcribe it here for screenreaders and people who can't see through the pixelation:

    Linux Error Messages That Go Hard Starter Pack

    ERROR: Failed to mount the real root device.
    Bailing out, you are on your own. Good luck.
    
    WARNING: The following essential packages will be removed.
    This should NOT be done unless you know exactly what you are doing!
       sysvinit initscripts (due to sysvinit) sysv-rc (due to sysvinit) util-linux
    0 upgraded, 0 newly installed, 198 to remove and 3 not upgraded
    You are about to do something potentially harmful.
    To continue type in the phrase 'Yes, do as I say!'
     ?] 
    
    (12/19) upgrading linux-raspberrypi
    WARNING: /boot appears to be a seperate partition but is not mounted.
             You probably just broke your system. Congratulations.
    >>> Updating module dependencies. Please wait...
    
    [   0.895799] ---[ end Kernel panic - not syncing: VFS: Unable to mount root fs 
    on unknown block(0,0)
    
      _______________________________
    < Your System ate a SPARC! Gah! >
      ------------------------------
                \    ^__^
                  \  (xx)\_________
                     (__)\         )\/\
                      U   ||-----w |
                          ||      ||
    
    Out of memory: Kill process 15745 (postgres) score 10 or sacrifice child
    
    [–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

    You’re a hero among us

    [–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago
    [–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

    Thanks added to the post

    [–] [email protected] 32 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

    Add sudo insults for good measure.

    [–] [email protected] 32 points 1 year ago (1 children)

    What goes hard about the kernel panic one?

    [–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

    u cant make popcorn without some kernels panicking

    [–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago (1 children)

    I remember not compiling the root filesystem in the kernel on my first Gentoo install, and being surprised it couldn't mount root at boot.

    [–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

    The first kernel I built was not entirely happy with the .config I had made for it. Only thing it could do was BEEP-ing in panic for any key presses. [insert noot noot meme]

    [–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago

    And yet all of them indicates the actual cause of error. It's nice to have a bit of fun sometimes.

    [–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago

    cowsay should be at the end of every script you run.

    [–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

    Argh not the VFS kernel panic!

    [–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

    i have seen many of these memes, is there a website or something where all these are collected ?

    [–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

    Try removing essential packages from your system or unmounting /boot

    [–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

    [insert the perfect meme to put here that has a baby and a fire here future self please]

    [–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

    I like the errors that strongly signal that the system was not produced by a corporation. They'd never get through coffee review where I work

    [–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

    On the second one if someone typed just "y" I would print "Please read the damn warning".